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Produce Bags

Q ~ Laura in Frisco asks: Barb, do the specialty produce bags that are supposed to keep fruits and vegetables fresher longer actually work? I keep seeing the green ones in my store but not sure if they are worth the extra price.

Barb ~ These may be marketed under “Debbie Myer Green Bags” or “Evert-Fresh Green Bags.” Yes, they work by simple science. You may have heard that storing un-ripened bananas in a paper bag helps them ripen faster? Fruits and vegetables “breathe” and as a result, release an ethylene gas. This gas ages/decomposes/spoils the food over a short time. As this aging happens, vitamins are also lost. These specialty bags naturally absorb the gasses. They are made from low-density polyethylene that is coated with a natural clay. This clay is rich in minerals that absorb the gas. The result is a slow-down of the decomposition process. I have used these bags and yes, they do keep produce fresher longer. Though the cost of the bags seems high in comparison to regular produce bags or Ziploc bags, they are re-usable up to 10 times. You simply rinse and re-use. So you can cut down on the amount of bags you use, as well as the amount of food that is wasted. These brands are made in the USA.

Stinky Towels

Q ~ Karen in Flower Mound asks: Barb, My towels stink. It’s so weird, I can’t figure it out. We just moved a few months ago and we never had this problem in the old house. It’s my same bath towels, some new ones I broke out, the guest towels, and the kitchen towels. I use the same soap and washing machine, the cabinets don’t smell, I have been making sure lately that I run the dryer longer to make sure they are dry. They smell okay out of the dryer, and sometimes they smell okay when I get them out of the cabinet, and then the second I use them they stink again. Clothes come out fine – it’s just towels and it’s several different brands, colors, thickness and age. I’m stumped!

Barb ~ It’s mildew. Think back – did any of your towels ever sit wet during the move, at the bottom of a hamper, or for a few days in the washer before drying? Have any washcloths sat in the corner of your shower for more than 48 hours? Any one of those could cause mildew but washing them in normal cycles does not kill all the mildew. So the mildew grows again. You probably wash all your towels together so the mildew tumbles around with them all. Gather all your towels and get rid of the mildew once and for all. You can try a few things as there are a variety of molds and mildews. If your towels are white and chlorine bleach is an option, try this first. If not, try vinegar. A cup in your load, letting them soak for 20 – 30 minutes will get rid of most varieties of molds and mildews. Tea tree oil can also work in your washer but has a strong smell so you will need to run an additional cycle with soap. Make sure to divide them up into small loads to give them room to tumble. Temperature is important too. Wash on the hottest setting you can, if your washer has a sanitary option, utilize it. If you have a large enough stock pot you can even boil them individually, or at least the washcloths and hand towels. Make sure they are fully dry – never leave the house with the dryer running though (potential fire hazard). Even a deep freeze kills a variety of molds and mildew, you can throw dry towels into a deep freezer for two days or a regular freezer for three days. Your next step is maintenance. Wet towels left in the washer or dryer, or in the corner of your shower, balled up by your sink, buried in the hamper, or thrown over a door for as little as 48 hours can make a perfect haven for mildew. After you use them, hang them in a way that allows them to quickly dry. Wash and dry them fully right away. You can test a few of these methods on a washcloth or single towel to see what works in your case before tackling the rest.

Laser Hair Removal

Q ~ "Want to be hairless" in Plano asks: I have several friends doing laser hair removal. They purchased groupons. What is the difference between using the ones that heavily advertise and/or are super cheap and using my doctor? What should I look for?        

Barb ~ There are quite a few things that separate your doctor’s office from a medpsa, and even more that separate the good from the bad. Spas and salons that want to expand their service offerings to include “medical” treatments such as laser hair removal, skin tightening and dermal fillers can call themselves medspas. There are a few loopholes and gray areas because now they have to abide by the same regulatory issues as your doctor’s office. It’s in these loopholes that you separate the good from the bad. In many States, including Texas, medical grade laser hair removal devices can be sold to spas or salons even though they are considered medical devices and you can’t practice medicine without a license. If you have a physician on staff (and use of this device is included in their scope of practice), then you can do this legally, and ideally, this physician trains and oversees everything related to the device. What you want to avoid is the “oh yeah, we have a staff physician, but they are hardly here” places that employ a doctor on the books only or “off-site” and offer these services at lots of locations and are thus able to offer them at a cheaper price. Some institutions are both a spa and a school for technicians so they are able to get their equipment free or at a vary reduced price, which allows them to charge so much less than a spa that pays full price for their equipment. Texas and Florida are leading the way with legislation requiring laser certifications. A Laser Certification is a professional credential that recognizes a high level of academic knowledge or achievement in that area. Texas has recently passed a law that requires technicians to complete 40 hours of classroom training and perform 100 supervised procedures before becoming certified for laser hair removal. Still, it is important that a medical doctor is there to consistently oversee operations. There are medspas that doctors will recommend themselves if they do not do the treatments in their own office. If you are considering one, do your homework. Know the risks of the treatment. Burning and scarring is a risk. Ask for a consultation and be prepared with these questions: *Who owns the facility? *Who runs the facility’s day to day operations? *Who will be performing the treatment, how long have they been performing it and what licenses do they carry? *What kind of equipment is used and how old is it? *How many treatments will I need? *What can I expect as results of my treatments? If you are rushed through the answers or treated like an idiot for asking them, run far away. Finally, do a few internet searches for reviews on the facility. Search the facility name and city and include “user reviews” or “user opinions” in the search terms. Remember, you get what you pay for. A higher cost should mean better, newer equipment, better trained, more experienced technicians, and physicians.

Tidbits on the New Year

Q ~ No-one asked, but Barb babbles on New Year traditions and resolutions.                     

Barb ~ 2012 is officially here and, while most Americans were eating black-eyed peas and collard greens as a symbol of prosperity, Iranians were banging pots and pans and breaking earthen jars to get rid of bad luck. The Scottish burned juniper branches around the house, Cambodians saturated each other with colored water, Germans dropped hot, molten lead into cold water to interpret the shapes made into fortunes. South Americans chose their underwear very carefully – if they wore yellow, they did so to better their chances for making more money. Those who picked red went for love in 2012, and those who want to give peace a chance in the New Year chose white underwear. In Denmark, people threw their old dishes at the doors of their friend’s homes. Lebanese raced to be the first to tell someone “Bistraint a leke” to collect money from them and in China, fresh coats of red paint were added to front doors. While Americans are scrambling to find someone to kiss at Midnight, the pressure is off in Portugal and Japan, where the Portuguese pick and eat twelve grapes at midnight to guarantee twelve happy months to come, and the Japanese laugh in the New Year as a way to bring in good luck. Children in the Philippines made sure they will grow tall by jumping up and down at midnight. And the entire world over, dating back to Babylonian times, made resolutions. The most common in America being: lose weight, get organized, save money, enjoy life, learn a new skill, kick a bad habit, be more charitable, spend more time with family, and fall in love. Celebrities even made resolutions and shared them with the world, via Twitter. Kim Kardashian tweeted that she wants to “be more simple in 2012.” Jenny McCarthy is going to be more aggressive and ask the boys out instead of waiting for them to come to her. Ashton Kutcher tweeted, "In 2012 let's agree to a resolution to feel one another's pain & joy, & create the peace we desire through proactive generosity.” Well, celebs already have fitness, wealth, skills and personal organizers. Tony Bennett is going to take up sculpting, and Alyssa Milano wants to “figure out how to balance motherhood with taking care of myself.” Welcome, Alyssa. Perhaps this year the usual majority that is doomed to fail may turn to technology to help them succeed with their resolutions, 'cause, guess what? There’s an app for that. Try Daily Burn, Lose It!, My Fitness Pal or Diet Assistant for those fitness apps. A notable free app for keeping track of your finances is Pageonce, and check out SilverWiz for a buck. For organization, try Evernote. If you want to quite a bad habit, take a look at the free app, Quitter. It not only tracks how many days you’ve been without that bad habit, it keeps track of how much money you are saving each day! There’s even an app to give you daily motivations to succeed. On an interesting note, women succeeded 10% more when they shared their goals with friends and got support (or reminders that they were failing, depending on the friend).

Ashes, Ashes

Q ~ Marla in Coppell asks: Barb, we used our fireplace for the first time in years last week and the ashes are piled up. Now I remember how much I hate cleaning them up. I use the fireplace shovel and they just spew clouds of ash into my face and on my carpet. Is there a better way to get rid of them?
                    
Barb ~ They are dry and lightweight, like most types of dust, so they will float around and annoy you. There are a few ways to help control the dust, some more affordable than others. You can purchase a specialty vacuum made just for fireplace ash. They run under $300. They take up a lot of space, but they are heat and flame resistant so they can be used any time, you do not have to wait for everything to cool. A wet/dry vac is strong and quick enough to suck up the ashes without disturbing them and sending them afloat. If you have one with a disposable bag and filter, you could try that. Make sure that all the embers are cool – at least 3 to 4 days after burning a fire, and discard the ashes in all cases in a metal can, not a plastic bag. You can look for a fireplace ash tray. This looks and functions like the crumb tray in your toaster oven. When everything is cool, slide it out and take it outside to dispose of in a metal can. Finally, try recycling your wet coffee grinds and cover the cool embers and ashes with them. Let them just absorb the ash for about 20 minutes, the ash will actually stick to them, then scoop them out. The weight of the grinds will help anchor a lot of that dust.

Private Playtime?

Q ~ Lisa in Carrollton asks: My 18 month old daughter has started masturbating by rubbing up and down on the arm of the chair. She has started doing it frequently at home and now the babysitter is telling me that she is doing it at her house. I don't punish her and try tore-direct her to another activity. But, it is starting to get embarrassing when friends come over and she continues to do this. Is this normal and just a phase? And, how should my husband and I handle it?
                    
Barb ~ This answer is graciously provided by: Celia Heppner, Psy.D., Postdoctoral Fellow in Clinical Child Psychology at Children’s Medical Center: Very young children are naturally less aware than older children and adults of modesty and rules for touching their own and other people’s bodies. Awareness ofsocial rules about sexual behavior usually doesn’t begin to develop until around four to six years old. As a result, it isn’t uncommon for children under the age of four to display behaviors such as wanting to undress or be naked in front of others, showing their private parts to others,and exploring their own private parts by touching or rubbing them. It sounds like you’re already doing a lot of the things that we would typically recommend to manage your daughter’s behavior (not punishing her; trying to redirect her to another activity). Because children this age sometimes touch their private parts in an effort to soothe or calm themselves, Iwould also suggest using a different soothing object or activity to distract her (i.e., giving her a favorite blanket, stuffed animal, or pacifier; rubbing her back or holding her and rocking her). I also would recommend being careful about the amount of attention you and her babysitter aregiving her in these situations, because even negative attention can be rewarding for children. What you’re describing does sound like age-appropriate behavior that will likely respond well to your interventions and resolve on its own. Sexual behaviors that we would tend to see as more concerning include behavior that causes a strong emotional reaction from the child (such as anger, crying, and anxiety) and behavior that gets in the way of a child’s normal activities. Problematic sexual behavior also includes activity that is much more advanced than the child’s developmental level or takes place between children of very different ages. If any of these are noticed, I would recommend that parents contact a mental health professional with training in child development to help with the behavior and any related issues in outpatient treatment.

The Steel on Stainless Bottles

Q ~ Angela in Grand Prairie asks: Barb, is it okay to fill stainless steel drinking bottles with apple juice the night before to pack in a school lunch box, or will the acid react with the stainless steel if it sits in there too long?
                    
Barb ~ This depends on the quality and health of the bottle. There are different grades of stainless steel alloys. The good, food-grade kind is made from what is called "18-8" varieties, which when in good shape are resistant to corrosion and do not react with food or beverage, even acidic ones. The cutlery grades like 440C are used to make knives, because they are rigid enough to keep an edge but they are not as corrosion resistant as the 300 series grades and may rust if exposed to salt water for a long time. You should look for bottles made with at least 304 stainless steel, 316 would be the best option. The health or shape of your bottle is dependent on how you treat it. Make sure you do not scrub it with a Brillo Pad or any other Steel Wool products. These have steel fibers and if they become imbedded in the stainless, they will rust and so will the surrounding stainless steel. Hand washing with a bottle brush is best. Most name brands will have a website FAQ that should address the best way to wash their bottles, and the grade of stainless steel they are made from.


Split The Invite

Q ~ Danica in Irving asks: Barb, in starting to plan my son's birthday party, he is making out his guest list for me to send invitations. One of his friends (of two years) has recently divorced parents. We knew both parents only casually and heard very little about the divorce other than it was ugly for both parents and dad has them some weekends. My question is, where do I send the invitation?
                    
Barb ~ You may look at his school phone book/directory listing for insight and see if both parents are listed. If so, send one to both. If you are inviting all his classmates then ask your son's teacher if he can hand deliver them at the end of the week. If your son and his friend are older and understand, consider having your son ask him for his address so that he can send him the invitation. Finally, you may feel most comfortable discretely asking the teacher for direction.

Bai Sui

Q ~ Jennifer from Dallas asks: Why do people say “Bless You” or something when someone sneezes and not with any other bodily function?
                    
Barb ~ “Bless You,” “Gesundheit,” “Bud Zdorov,” “Humdullah,” “Bai Sui,” ” ÀTes Souhaits,” “Salud,” or dozens of other language variations of the term are typically said because a sneeze, which is really a body’s way of blasting mucous particles into the air (at a speed up to 100 miles per hour!) around the offender, is usually a sign of an oncoming cold or illness. There are many urban legends/myths about why you sneeze. In the Dark Ages, it was believed that your heart stopped during the sneeze and you were "blessed" back to life. Some also believed that sneezing expelled the soul from the body, so a "bless" you prevented your soul from being stolen by an evil spirit. Some even believe that if you manage to keep your eye lids open during a sneeze, your eyes will pop out. Not so; eyes closing is the body's automatic function. In fact, sometimes people sneeze from sudden exposure to bright lights, a foreign invader tickling the nose, or a full stomach, but we’ve been conditioned to say something any time we hear a sneeze.

Dry Shampoo

Q ~ Hunan in Plano asks: Barb, I have been hearing a lot of talk from women lately about dry shampoo and wondering if it works, how does it work, and are there some better than others? Does it work for everyone? I have very fine hair.
                    
Barb ~ Dry Shampoo saves lives. Okay, maybe not literally, but it saves many a woman hours each week, giving us back glorious sleep, precious time, and yes, it cuts back on water use if you want to get beyond the selfish reasons to use it. Typically it is made from a main ingredient of talcum powder, starch, baking soda, rice, corn, or other ground powder which absorbs oil. You only need to use it if your hair is oily. If it does not have sebum to stick to, it can still freshen your hair up, but it is not necessary. Most women use it on days they do not have time to shampoo, or if they do not want to shampoo daily but need a little help in between. For it to work its best, start with brushing your hair until it is tangle free. Then spray close to your roots, holding it a few inches away. Let it sit a couple of minutes, and then brush it out. Voila. Remember, it works by absorbing the oil, and instead of rinsing it out like normal shampoo, you need to brush it out. A hair dryer can help the process. I believe all hair types can use it, but you may want to check ingredients in comparing the brands. Personally, I love a new brand I recently discovered, Haute Mess Dry Shampoo and Dry Conditioner by Hempz. It includes pure organic hemp seed oil and is Paraben-free, Gluten-free and is 100% vegan. For me, I find it leaves my hair cleaner, slightly conditioned, and shiny, but still gives it volume, and it smells like a romantic summer resort (technically they call it Warm Vanilla Mango). You can easily find user reviews on scents, ingredients, effectiveness and delivery systems to research more brands, and maybe narrow down to a few that you want to try to see what is right for you. A simple internet search should pull up quite a few “user reviews on dry shampoo.”

Car Seat Houdini

Q ~ Megan in Dallas Asks: My 20 month old has figured out how to get out of her car seats shoulder straps (we have nicknamed her Houdini), any suggestions on how to keep her strapped in? We have the straps tight and the chest buckle in the correct place when she gets put in the seat.
                    
Barb ~ Toddlers are great at figuring out ways around things, and they repeatedly perform little tests until they can predict with 100% accuracy “If I do A then B happens.” The only thing I could suggest is to consistently enforce “B.” Just make sure “B” isn’t a reaction they want repeated – such as a chuckle from you, or even an impressed reaction. Liken it to opening a window. At some point, they will figure out how to get around any “safety proofing” device, so it’s best to just communicate that there are no “ifs,” “ands,” or “buts” about it: toddlers do not open windows. I reached out to an industry leader in car seat safety, BRITAX: “This is an industry-wide concern and the advice BRITAX provides parents would be to first and foremost, make it your responsibility to teach your child that trying to get out of his car seat is a BIG “No-No.” Secondly, check the tightness of the harness system and level of the chest clip. You should not be able to pinch up any slack between your thumb and forefinger. Keep the chest clip at armpit level to hold the straps in place. Thirdly, we would recommend sharing the “But my child won’t stay in the car seat” handout created by carseat.org - http://carseat.org/Resources/635.pdf”

The Hurricane Name Game

Q ~ Angela in Colleyville asks: Barb, we are curious, how do they come up with the names for hurricanes?
                    
Barb ~ Originally meteorologists used to refer to hurricanes by a system of latitude-longitude but this got confusing to the public. In the 50’s, the National Weather Service began to name storms after women. This came from Naval meteorologists, which used the system as boat names were usually women’s names. In 1979, male names were added to the list. Yes, there is a list. Every year the names are pre-determined – so 2012’s list is already made. There are actually 6 lists of names for Atlantic storms and they rotate every 6 years. Names are used alphabetically. If a particular storm was really devastating, the name is replaced by another on the list. The names of 2011 hurricanes is: Alberto, Beryl, Chris, Debby, Ernesto, Florence, Gordon, Helene, Isaac, Joyce, Kirk, Leslie, Michael, Nadine, Oscar, Patty, Rafael, Sandy, Tony, Valerie, William And 2012: Alberto, Beryl, Chris, Debby, Ernesto, Florence, Gordon, Helene, Isaac, Joyce, Kirk, Leslie, Michael, Nadine, Oscar, Patty, Rafael, Sandy, Tony, Valerie, William

Do Not Not Call

Q ~ Tina in Irving asks, I know that Political Calls are exempt from the National Do Not Call List. But is there anything I can do to keep them from calling my house? Even if they don’t wake up a child or interrupt dinner, it’s still unsolicited and annoying.
                    
Barb ~ The National Do Not Call Registry allows you to sign up your phone numbers (including cell phones) to limit the amount of telemarketing calls you receive. It took the Federal Trade Commission three years to review the Telemarketing Sales Rule and gather public opinion before creating the registry. The Commission held workshops, meetings, and asked for public feedback. They received over 64,000 public comments, which you can actually read at www.ftc.gov/bcp/rulemaking/tsr/tsrrulemaking/index.htm. Really, each one. So basically, you go to https://donotcall.gov/ and input your numbers. Telemarketers have 31 days to stop calling you or you can file a complaint which puts them in a database that could get them into trouble. But, only telemarketers (callers that solicit sales of goods and services) are covered by this rule. If you actually do business with a company they can call you. So you can’t file a complaint if your cable company calls you to upgrade your package or shoot the breeze about last night’s True Blood episode, but you can tell them to stop calling you and then file a complaint if they don’t stop in 31 days. Same with a company that you signed up for services from, entered a contest with, or otherwise GAVE them your information. Bill collectors can keep calling regardless (but they need to be on their best behavior or you can report them to the FTC). Surveyors for a real survey, not a pretend survey that then offers you a deal on goods or services, are not covered. Charities and Political peeps are not technically telemarketers so they are not covered by the TSR. You can ask them to stop calling you, but they do not have to. There is a nonprofit group, http://www.stoppoliticalcalls.org, that you can register your number with that maintains a Political Do Not Call List. The group circulates the list to all political peeps and asks them to stop calling the numbers on it. While they don’t hold a legal threat to the political groups, they do legitimately work with candidates to get them to see that there are better ways of effectively reaching voters. There are products you can use to let the caller know you prefer not to be reached. Generally, they require that you connect them to your phone and press a button when such a call comes through. You hang up, and they play a politely recorded message to the caller then disconnect. I would suggest saving your money and simply relaying that message yourself, hoping that they are professional enough to respect your wishes.

Why Retail Store Clerks Suck at 3rd Grade Math
                    
Barb ~ “Do you want to save 10% on your purchase today by opening a store credit card?” Sound familiar? “No,” I say, “I want to pay full price.” I’m already irritated but they just keep on going: “Oh, well you would save like, $20 today, and then if you don’t want to keep the card, you can always cancel it.” Stellar financial advice, thank you for the sensible, responsible and prudent recommendation. If credit card companies are required to clearly show how payments affect balances, then its time clothing/retail stores are made to be more up front with customers, or a the very least, stop being irresponsible in the way they offer them. Because when you want to make a major purchase such as a home or car; that $20 savings could cost you hundreds or thousands. We’ve all heard of credit scores. It’s not a surprise that paying your bills on time gives you a better score. You also need to build up your credit by showing that you can maintain a few open lines of credit at once. In fairness, there may be a few good reasons to open these. They are easier to qualify for, so opening one or two (but no more in a 6 to 12 month period) and IF you can pay them in full each month, it’s a good way to start building credit (though a gas station card would be the better option). Secondly, if you are not planning to apply for a home or auto loan any time soon, and you are going to save a substantial amount – such as no interest for two years on a large furniture or appliance purchase, then you may stand to benefit. But, it’s simply disgusting of stores to nudge you into opening an account, just so you can save a small amount, and then tell you “you can always close it.” You have bundles of clothes in your arms – and I’m sure no time to read the fine print, so you are put on the spot, with an incentive, to make a major decision. Here is the problem with opening a store credit card just for that $20 savings. 1) Every time you apply for a card, you add a credit inquiry to your credit report – your score drops a few points with each inquiry. 2) You can only use the card in that store, and if you only make the occasional purchase, the account is not active, dropping your score another few points. 3) Closing the account after having it for just a short time drops your score another few points. 4) If you tend to have more than 5 or 6 credit card and retail store accounts open, your score drops even more. 5) A lower credit score may lead other card issuers to reduce your credit limit or raise your interest rate. When you apply for a loan for that house or car, the lender will look at your score. Having a good score generally means you get the loan. Having a great score means you get that loan at a better interest rate, meaning, you pay less in interest on that loan. Here’s an easy example: You want to secure a loan for $20,000 to buy a car. Say you have good credit and you get a loan at 6.25% interest rate. Over 5 years, you pay a total of $23,339.40. So that 20 grand cost you $3,339.40 in interest. Now say you have better credit and you get a loan at 6%. With this loan, you pay $23,199.60, saving $139.80. Let me see if I remember third grade: $139 > (is greater than) $20. Don’t let a discount or ‘special shopping privileges’ be a reason to sign up for a retail store credit card. In most cases, if you just sign up for their mailing list or email newsletters, you can get special offers and discounts.

Vaccines and Schools

Q ~ Laura in McKinney asks: Barb, my child’s school is asking for 3 or 4 vaccinations before the school year starts. She will be entering preschool and while we do plan on vaccinating, I want these spread out over months, maybe even longer. Her doctor’s office has been very supportive of this but the school administrator gave me attitude when I tried to explain our beliefs. Do I have any rights here or is it different with each school?
                    
Barb ~ Texas state law gives parents the right to exempt their student of any age from vaccination requirements. If your concern is medically based, such as a previous negative reaction or known allergy to an ingredient in a vaccine, then you simply need a written medical exemption from your doctor that lists the specific immunizations that she should be exempt from. For detailed information on ingredients in vaccines, visit the CDC link: http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/pubs/pinkbook/downloads/appendices/B/excipient-table-2.pdf. If you want an exemption for religious or personal beliefs, there are a few legally necessary steps involved so don’t delay in getting started. You will first need to complete the Affidavit Request for Exemption from Immunization for Reasons of Conscience form found on the Texas Department of State Health Services site: http://webds.dshs.state.tx.us/immco/affidavit.shtm. The completed form must be sent to the DSHS Immunization Branch in Austin where they will be processed and mailed within one week from receipt. This form must be notarized and submitted to your school office. Make sure you get written acknowledgment from the school that they received it (make a copy of the notarized form, and have them sign and date it when they accept the original). Every day care and school is legally required to accept the legal exemption. Here are links to the state statutes (source: http://vaccineinfo.net/exemptions/index.shtml):

Children and Education including Colleges:
• Texas Education Code, Health and Safety Chapter Section 38.0001 - Immunization Requirement Exceptions
• Texas Education Code, Title 3 Higher Education Section Chapter 51.933 - Immunization Requirements; Exceptions
• Texas Administrative Code Title 25 Part 1 Section 97 - Immunization Requirements in Texas Elementary and Secondary Schools and Institutes of Higher Education (this section contains vaccine requirements by rule, provisional enrollment, and exemptions)
• Texas Education Code Higher Education Section Chapter 51.9192. Bacterial Meningitis Vaccination Required for Certain Student; Exceptions

Day Care:
• Human Resource Code, Section 42.043 - Rules for Immunizations and Exemptions

Health Care Providers:
• Texas Administrative Code Title 25 Part 1 Rule § 97.101- Statewide Immunization of Children by Hospitals, Physicians, and other Health Care Providers

State of Texas:
• Texas Health and Safety Code, Section 161.004 - Statewide Immunization of Children

Whatever your reasons may be for your decisions, never allow a school to pressure you into vaccinating your child. Do as much homework as possible and be confident in knowing that there are plenty of online resources that give you this right. If your child moves schools you will need a new form. For more information from the Texas Department of State Health Services, visit http://www.dshs.state.tx.us/immunize/school/default.shtm#exclusions. 

Chlorine on Skin

Q ~ Amanda in Frisco asks: My kids have been swimming pretty late this summer and by the time they come in I have often decided its better they skip the shower and go straight to bed to avoid any tantrums. But is it okay for them to sleep and go overnight with the chlorine on them or should I be showering them before bed?  
                    
Barb ~ If they don’t have sensitive skin or major skin problems such as eczema, and this pool is at a private residence versus a highly-chlorinated rec center or community area, you don’t need to worry too much. Definitely bathe them in the morning and use a good, alcohol-free lotion to avoid excessive drying of the skin (hair may also need extra conditioner). If you are using a public pool then chlorine levels (which aren’t your worst nightmare here) will be high and need to be rinsed off.

Potty Training Help

Q ~ Amasha in Carrollton asks: Barb, I am at my wits end! My daughter is just a month & a half shy of 4yrs. We tried several potty training methods at several different times. Last December she finally started making some major strides. She had no accidents for about 3 weeks. At that point she moved up to the next class at daycare. Immediately she started having accidents again. She would have an accident everyday and sometimes multiple accidents a day. I figured it was just the transition and she did finally start doing better, but she would still have an accident at least once a week. Now I've been home with her for the summer so I could watch her carefully for signs that she needed to go. We still have multiple accidents a day. Sometimes she'll tell me she needs to go and sometimes she'll just pee in the floor. Once she pooped in the potty & then peed on the stool while she was washing her hands. I've tried every punishment and reward I can think of. I've made her clean up after she has an accident. I don't know what else to do! Please help!!!    
                    
Barb ~ Potty Training takes consistency, persistence, and most importantly, readiness. There are various methods available and various books, DVDs, and toys that go along with them. I can’t tell you which one will work for you, but can advise that once you do choose the method that fits your family's lifestyle the best, give it time to work. The most important thing is to make sure your child is ready, interested and on board. They need to be emotionally and physically ready. Physically, the bladder needs to be able to send a signal to the brain, and the brain needs to be able to send a signal back. Usually, if a child can keep a diaper dry for about two hours, this is a sign of physical readiness. While rewards and positive reinforcement are excellent tools, punishment leads to anxiety and possibly fear, and can cause stress and delays. You may want to discuss the setbacks with your pediatrician, it seems that anxiety was a trigger in the new school. In choosing the right method for your family's lifestyle, consider the child's personality. I like "Stress-Free Potty Training" by Dr. Pete Stavinoha and Sara Au. They talk about different personalities and how you could work with each kind. Dr. Pete will actually be speaking at an upcoming MetroMoms event, and a copy of the book is included in the ticket price. See MetroMomsEvents.com for more information. You can also spend some time on Amazon's or Barnes & Noble's websites looking at other books and user reviews and ratings. In the meantime, take a step back, breath, and get your action plan in order. One more thing - don’t worry about night time, this will come on its own as the bladder and brain mature.

Friction Feet

Q ~ Heather in Colleyville asks: Barb, I usually wear very comfortable shoes (flip flops, tennis shoes) but every now and then will wear something nicer out. I can’t wait to get out of the nicer shoes though because the friction starts hurting my heels or the tops of my feet. I have held on to some because they are really cute and are in hard to find colors but they give me blisters if I wear them too long. I have tried a few products like gel pads but was curious about the friction stick – it’s like a little deodorant stick – have you tried it? Does it work?    
                    
Barb ~ There are a couple of brands that make Friction Block Sticks, most notably Dr. Scholl’s and Band Aid. They are meant to glide on like deodorant to form an invisible barrier on the skin that reduces the friction from rubbing. Personally, I have tried the Band Aid brand, and it does work for me. Online reviews are overall very positive, and at such a small investment (under $8), it is worth a try to see if it works for you. I think it is important to have realistic expectations in a product though. Buying shoes that fit your feet, not just your wardrobe, is the first important step in avoiding friction. Buy fewer pairs and spend a little more on the better brands. Your feet will continuously change – especially after pregnancy, and each brand is made differently and may not be right for you, so you do need to get professionally fitted every time you purchase.

Left-in

Q ~ Jacqueline in Grapevine asks, Barb, My in-laws are starting to drive me crazy over my son using his left hand. He is their only grand-child and they do not see him that much, so I am hoping they relax a bit before they give him a complex. He is 21 months old and sometimes favors his left hand. I know he is too young to decide if he is left or right handed, and I am not worried about which he ends up with, but they are crazy about it. When they see him using his left hand to eat, they switch the food to his right hand. If he picks up a toy with his left hand, they make a comment about using his other hand. I asked them what the big deal was and they said that it was harder to go through life being left-handed and that we should try to train him to use his right hand only. Neither of them are left-handed. Isn’t this just an urban legend, what is so hard about it?    
                    
Barb ~ It’s funny how there is so much mystery surrounding left-handedness, but I guess it is understandable given that throughout history, a steady 10% of the world’s population has been left handed. Researchers have tried to link it to anything from genius to schizophrenia. I’m married to a left-hander and it seems at least one of my children has inherited, as is usually the case, the gene. I can’t say they speak their own secret language or attend secret club meetings. Other than something about a left-handed keyboard, some left-handed scissors and left-handed notebooks, I can’t remember my husband saying much else about it. He doesn’t even know that August 13th is “International Left-Handers Day.” The fact is that being left-handed is not a major hardship. It may be a minor inconvenience at times but no more than crazy care-takers trying to “train” you like a 5-legged circus monkey. Because of old wives tales of lefties having it so hard, being studied like freaks of nature and being accused over the centuries of anything from dealing with the devil to being a criminal, older generations may believe that it is a kinder act to the lefty to train them out of a life of supposed misery. Let them know that history has produced plenty of successful lefties, including presidents Bush senior, Clinton, and Obama. Lefties may have an advantage in sports; Babe Ruth, Larry Bird, Arnold Palmer and Martina Navratilova are just a few athhlefties. There’s more - Cary Grant, Steve McQueen, Charlie Chaplin, Fred Astaire, and Robert De Niro represent the thleftiens, and the music industry as produced greats like Bob Dylan, Jimmi Hendrix, Sir Paul McCartney, Sting, David Bowie, Phil Collins, Celine Dion, Paul Simon and Ringo Starr. Strange that all keyboards are not left-handed as Bill Gates is a lefty himself. He joins J Edgar Hoover, Mark Twain, HG Wells and Lewis Carroll from the world of lefterature, and Princes Charles and William. First man on the moon Neil Armstrong and his fellow astronaut Buzz Aldrin; fashion designer Jean-Paul Gaultier and Albert Einstein are all left handed. Running down that list may help calm them, but don’t let them Google it because unfortunately, Billy the Kid; Jack the Ripper and The Boston Strangler were also lefties!

Hot Tub Dangers

Q ~ Harriett in Mansfield asks, Barb, While at a neighborhood pool with a friend and her kids, I was letting my kids, 4 and 7 in a hot tub. I did see a sign that said no children under 8 but assumed it was because there was no lifeguard watching it and if they could stand up and are strong swimmers (plus I was watching them) it was okay. Her kids are 5 and 9 and she would not let them in telling me that kids should not be in a hot tub at all though she did not know why. Is it not okay if I am watching them?    
                    
Barb ~ It depends. While you can watch for entrapment (drains with strong suction may have missing drain covers and are not that far under them in shallow hot tubs) you most definitely can miss infection-causing bacteria that just love the temperatures in hot tubs, especially in public areas. A major risk of injury is not one easily observed before it is too late – the risk of overheating. Toddlers and young children especially, have thin skin, and cannot regulate body heat as well as adults can. Simply put, they don’t know if they are overheating but can be more prone to overheating than adults, so you don’t know if they are overheating before it is too late. If you are confident in the safety of the tub drains and cleanliness, because of the risk of overheating, experts generally agree that it is okay for children 6-8 and older to use a hot tub, but for short periods of time, like about 5 minutes at a time. Your best option is to turn the temperature down to about 100, just over regular body temperature.

Bath Toys That Need a Bath

Q ~ Albert in Frisco asks: Barb, our bath toys are almost too disgusting to let the kids play with them. We rinse them after each bath but they smell like mold and have a film on them within a couple of months and we end up replacing them. Any suggestions on a certain brand or anything else to avoid this problem?   
                    
Barb ~ You probably have soap scum and mineral deposits on the outside of the toys and if any of them are the squirting kind or you can hear water inside of them after you rinse them, mold or mildew is growing on the inside. I try to stay away from any toy that can fill with water like that. Boon and Sassy make great, inexpensive toys that unscrew to drain and fully dry (if you remove moisture, mold will not grow). It’s great that you are rinsing them, but you’ll need to take the extra step of making sure they dry in a timely manner (24-48 hours). So instead of piling them back in their storage area while they are wet, spread them out on the towel to dry overnight. For the soap scum or toys with build-up, periodically give them a vinegar bath. I usually fill the tub up with cold water just enough to get all the toys soaking and pour in vinegar until I can smell it, generally a 1 part vinegar to 3 parts water solution will work. Let them sit for 15 minutes or longer if needed. Then get a cloth in the tub with them and wipe away the soap scum, it will lift very easily. If it is being stubborn, soak longer or increase vinegar in solution.

Baby Shower Encore

Q ~ Carol in Allen asks: Barb, what is the rule on having a baby shower for your second or third child? A gal I work with is hinting that she wants one and this will be her second daughter. She has two other boys. Would I have to send a gift if I don’t attend? I just think it is tacky and she wants stuff.    
                    
Barb ~ Having a baby shower with your first is definitely helpful to the new mom who needs a lot of items to take care of a newborn. Ideally mom saves the big stuff like gear and only needs a few items for the second, even if the gender is different she and family members should be able to fill in the clothes and other few things that she would need. Etiquette seems to dictate that it’s okay to have a second, smaller baby shower, with just close friends and family, if it has been a long time between pregnancies and mom needs to replace a lot of items, and if the second baby is another gender. With safety regulations having changed and big-ticket items like cribs, strollers and car seats being re-called and needing replacement, many moms do need help replacing older items, and even basics like socks, onesies, and diapers. But ultimately, if you are offended, you do not need to attend. If you do not attend, you technically do not need to get her a gift, but you may consider something small just as a gesture to keep the office politics peaceful. Ask around to see what the consensus is. Maybe suggest a Mommy Shower instead.

Stinky Trash

Q ~ Laura in Bedford asks: Barb, whenever I cook chicken or seafood, I have a stinky problem. My trash smells really bad the next day from the trimmings or shells. Our HOA does not allow us to put trash outside before trash day, so we keep a large can in the garage but that begins to stink up the garage and then get in the house. With summer heat increasing, I don’t think the kids can take another summer walking into the garage holding their breath. I there anything I can do to make it not stink?  
                    
Barb ~ Meats and seafood are high protein foods and especially when raw and out of cold temperatures, begin to decompose at a fast rate. There are a few easy steps you can take to avoid this stinky problem. All you need are grocery store bags or Ziploc bags and a freezer. The easiest thing to do is to throw these raw scraps into a grocery store bag, produce bag, or any used plastic bag you save and keep them in the freezer until trash day. They will take a few hours to thaw and if the bag is sealed or tied tight enough you may never smell it before the trash is picked up. If you use a lot of stock for cooking or soup, keep them in the freezer, along with veggie scraps (green onion stems, parsley stems, and carrots are great) and boil it all together to make a stock. You can re-freeze in ice cube trays if you don’t have plans to make it all at once.

Aloe Vera

Q ~ Cassie in Flower Mound asks: Barb, I am not much of a plant person but have been thinking about keeping an aloe plant for mosquito bites, sunburns, and I think it would be cool to be able to use fresh gel when you need it. I went to Home Depot and noticed a bunch of different varieties, are there some better than others?  
                    
Barb ~ There are over 200-300 varieties of aloe, the most common one that is thought of for sunburns is the Aloe Vera plant. It is true that Aloe Vera gel has some medicinal effects and can soothe skin irritations and burns, so that is a great idea to keep one around. They also do not need a lot of maintenance. Take care to make sure no animals or children ingest the plant thought, as it is also used to make a laxative!

Adding A Sibling

Q ~ Tara in McKinney asks: Barb, We currently have one special needs child. However, we have always wanted more. But I feel guilty for wanting more when the child we have now needs so much attention, therapy, help, etc. I am so torn! What do I do?                       

Barb ~ This is a tough decision for many parents, even parents without special needs children. It is a very personal decision but because you do have a special needs child, you have a responsibility to consider that child’s needs. I bet you are used to researching as much as possible in helping your child, and that is where I would start. Talk to your doctors and ask them how a sibling will affect your child’s development and progress. Talk to parents in a support group that have had second children. Find a message board – members on an anonymous board are usually more open. Talk to your support system and family members that aid in the care of your special needs child as a second child may change their role. Try owning both decisions separately. Say you decide to have another. For a few weeks, own that decision. In everything you do – driving to therapy, helping your first, cooking – each specific chore and challenge throughout the day – think of how you would be doing it with a newborn or toddler. Talk with your spouse about how you would divide responsibilities. What if your only child now did not have special needs, but your second did. How would you have made that situation work? Then say you decide against having another. How do you feel about it? Strip away the guilt and look at things from a logical angle. Do you want a second child? Can you make it work? Would you feel a void if you did not have another? Is your child able to or will be able to experience the special bond and closeness of a sibling relationship?

TV Close-Up

Q ~ Lauren in Allen asks: Barb, every now and then, my toddler gets into what is on tv and stands frozen, right up in front of it for a few minutes at a time. Is this bad for his eyes to be so close or was that just a folk tale?                       

Barb ~ It may give him a headache if he stands there for too long but no, standing too close to the television does not damage your vision. The headache results from eye fatigue, or straining too long. Our parents used to warn us because decades ago, sets emitted harmful rays, but that is not the case today. You could try putting a favorites seat or beanbag further away and invite him to it there when you notice he is freezing up.

To Shake, Or Not To Shake

Q ~ Lindsay in Watauga asks: Barb, is it rude to not shake hands when you meet someone? I admit I am a germaphobe but just today I saw someone blowing his red, snotty nose and then two seconds later introduced himself to me with his hand out for a shake. I just nodded, and I could tell he was put off. Are there any alternatives in a situation like this?                       

Barb ~ Shaking hands is in my opinion a disgusting habit. I’d be fine with bowing, nodding, tapping elbows or even just blinking at each other. It’s interesting how many different cultures around us feel about hand shaking. Here, it is generally considered rude to not accept someone’s hand shake. In other cultures, women are discouraged from shaking hands with men of another religion, or in lieu of a hand shake, another gesture is used. For example, in Indian customs, greeting by placing both hands together with a slight bow is respectful. If a germ phobia is holding you back, then you can get away with not initiating a handshake. It may go unnoticed if you initiate a head nod or slight bow before the other person even has a chance to stick out their hand. They would probably return the gesture. If you don’t beat them to the greeting first and they do stick out their hand, you need to choose the lesser of two evils, either risk offending them, or take the shake and use a hand sanitizer as soon as you walk away.

Noisy Pest Control

Q ~ Laura in McKinney asks: Barb, do you recommend any of the plug-in ultrasonic “noise” pest control products? I have been thinking about plugging one in near a patio door that I see a lot of bugs come in through.                       

Barb ~ I want them to, don’t you? I really wish they did. Unfortunately, according to unbiased research, they really don’t. There are dozens of varieties of this product – a device that you plug in to emit high frequency sound waves that won’t bother domesticated household pets, but keeps rats, bats, and bugs away without pesticides. Researchers have been experimenting with sound waves and pests for decades, and really have not found them to be effective at pest control. Both the Federal Trade Commission and the Environmental Protection Agency have questioned the claims made by the manufacturers and that claims are made with no supporting evidence to back them up. In 1993, the Office of the Attorney General in Texas prohibited future sales in Texas by one or manufacturers due to false claims by the manufacturers, stating, "There continues to be a lack of confirmed studies to scientifically document the claims of efficacy against insect pests." Remember, “laboratory tested” just means they were “tested” in a lab.

TV Time For Toddlers

Q ~ Susan in Colleyville asks: Barb, I just started working from home with my toddler and find that I am relying on television throughout the day perhaps too much. I just can’t seem to avoid chaos when I need to take a work call unless I put a disc or show on for my 3 year old. I usually play Dora, Sesame Street, or other “more educational” shows but I still feel guilty. She will start preschool in the fall but for now, how television is too much?                       

Barb ~ Barb thanks Peter Stavinoha, Ph.D., pediatric psychologist at Children's Medical Center, for his expert answer to this week’s question: "Research on kids and screen time is not encouraging for parents who let their children sit in front of a computer or TV or play with that precious i-Gadget. In general, researchers have found associations between screen time and behavior problems, speech delay, and obesity in children. That certainly does not mean that every child who holds an iPad will be overweight, aggressive, and delayed in speech. But it does indicate a higher risk for these kinds of negative consequences, and parenting is often about managing such risks. Cognitive, social, and language development are highly dependent on the transaction between the child and other humans. Computer games and shows on TV (even the educational ones) are simply no substitute for a real person interacting with a child. Further, screen time encourages a sedentary style that can lead to other health problems for a child such as obesity. Questions remain about the contributions that excessive screen time make to later learning and attention disorders – while questions may linger, we know that screen time does not help and may in fact add to problems along these dimensions as well. We know screen time does not really help with child development, and there are a number of risks that are associated with screen time. Why would we knowingly allow our children to participate excessively in activities with known risks and no real benefits? It is important for parents to seek alternatives to screen time when possible, even when it is not entirely convenient to do so. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no more than 2 hours a day of screen time for pre-schoolers. That still seems like a long time for a preschooler to be engaged with a gadget rather than a human but at least provides parents with tangible guidance with regard to limits to screen time. The National Institutes of Health provide strategies for reducing screen time in children on their website at: http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/public/heart/obesity/wecan/reduce-screen-time/index.htm" 

Black Out Bedtime

Q ~ Mindy in Lake Dallas asks: Barb, Since the time change, I have been having a problem getting my 3 year old to stay in bed. Before the change, he knew that when it got dark outside it was bedtime – that was about 7:30. Now that it is still light at bedtime, he fights me saying “it’s not dark yet!” I tried adding a second curtain, but he still sees light through the cracks. How can I re-program him to forget that dark=bedtime?                       

Barb ~ Convincing or reasoning with a 3 year old? Why take on the impossible? In a couple of years you can teach him that when the clock reads 7:30 it is bedtime. In the meantime, you had the right idea in trying to make the room darker. In fact, you can make his room darker, make your windows private, update a room, add an artistic touch, or even change up your shower door. Did I mention it’s easy and affordable? Meet Window Film and More. You may have heard of black out curtains. This site sells what they call “black out” film. It is like contact paper, very easy for you to apply and remove and completely covers the window pane so no light can come through from the sides or top. They actually have a lot of colors so you can use it as a decorative film. I found this when I was looking for a solution for my shower, in which some genius contractor thought it would be a fine idea to put a clear, see-thru, glass window that anyone from the street can see into. I used the frosted film, which still lets in plenty of light, was a fraction of what it would cost to change the window, but gives total privacy. The kids also like the decorative “stained glass” film for their game room and I was glad to be able to use it instead of a curtain or blinds for my little one to pull on.

In Your Face

Q ~ Janet in Farmers Branch asks: Barb, I know I should wash my makeup off before going to bed but I get so tired most nights that I just skip it and go to sleep. Do you have any quick tips?                       

Barb ~ Wash your face before you get so tired, like, when you get home. Just don’t put it off so long – work it into an earlier routine. Our moms were right, you should NEVER go to bed with your makeup on. It’s not unlike suffocating your skin. Let’s face it, your makeup is pretty much colorful dirt. And then during the day it attracts more dirt and some bacteria. The pores in your face are bigger than the pores on the rest of you, so they just lay open, filling up with all that dirt. Think of the dishes you don’t wash at night and what they look like after sitting out a full day. Your skin repairs itself at night, cells regenerate, but it needs to breathe to do so. Could you breathe well if you were covered in layers of dirt and bacteria? You’ll either end up looking like the old lady on the slot machine or like the acne-prone teen working the fryer at McFriesAlot. So just do it earlier, and keep it simple. You do not need a long routine, just a good cleanser and moisturizer.

The Top 11 April Fool’s Pranks of the Past 11 Decades
            
Barb ~ They say a fool is born every minute, and many of us still fall for a really good April fool’s joke every year. Jokes are even played across nations with the help of mainstream media and that world wide web of pranksters. Here is a salute to some of the funniest.

#10: Burger King’s Left-Handed Whopper
In 1998, BK placed a full page ad in USA Today introducing a new menu item specially created for the 32 million left-handed Americans. According to the announcement, the ingredients would still be the same but the condiments would be turned 180 degrees. That day, Burger Kings are flooded with thousands of lefty’s, as well as thousands of calls from righty’s requesting a special version made just for them.

#9: Blue Cans
In 1996 Virgin Cola announced a new safety feature for their consumers by utilizing new can technology. When the soda was no longer fresh and passed its expiration date, the contents would react with the metal in the can and make the can turn a bright blue. Consumers were told to avoid buying any can that had already turned blue. This is funny because Pepsi had just revealed its newly designed packaging: bright blue cans.

#8 Instant Color TV
In 1962, Sweden’s only television station, normally broadcast in black and white, announced that they finally updated their technology to allow viewers to convert their existing sets to color by simply pulling a nylon stocking over their screens.

#7 Smell-o-Vision
In 1965 the BBC told viewers that they incorporated new technology that allowed them to experience aromas as well as visuals of what they were broadcasting. To demonstrate, they told viewers to call in while they cut onions and brewed coffee. Viewers claimed that it was working – showing how powerful the power of suggestion could be.

#6 A Sport is Born
Though originally a marketing stunt, it has stuck. In 1992 Gold Eagle Co announced a new motor-sport series culminating in two national races: Lawn Mower Racing. People got excited, embraced it, and began hosting their own local races…still..to this day.

#5 Nixon for President
In 1992 National Public Radio announced that Nixon was going to try for the presidency again with the new campaign slogan “I didn’t do anything wrong and I won’t do it again.” Comedian Rich Little impersonated Nixon for sound clips of Nixon announcing his intent.

#4 Up in the Air
In 1976 a well-respected British astronomer, Patrick Moore, announced on the radio that at precisely 9:47 in the morning, a once-in-a-lifetime astronomical event would take place. Pluto would pass behind Jupiter and cause a gravitational alignment, reducing the gravity on earth temporarily. Moore told the listening audience that if they jumped into the air at that exact moment, they could experience a floating sensation like astronauts.

#3 Google for Pets
In 2010, Google announced a new beta app for android users, “Translate for Animals: Bridging the gap between animals and humans” Google claims the app will allow users to translate what their pet is saying.

#2 New Sizes at Starbucks
In 2010, Starbucks announces two new sizes: a 2 ounce “Micra” – when all you need is a sip, and a 128 ounce “Plenta” that resembles a large movie popcorn tub for those that just can’t get enough. Starbucks told consumers not to worry about the paper waste from the Plenta, as it could be re-used as a planter, lampshade, or yoga block.

#1 Shock Therapy by Whole Foods
In 2010, visitors of the Whole Food’s Market website could download a new app that allowed them to use their smart phones to evaluate the food they were about to eat. To use, simply point the phone at the plate and activate the app. If the app disapproved of an unhealthy item, it would deliver via smart phone an electric shock to the user to deter them from eating it.

Tips on Tipping

Q ~ March in Dallas asks: Barb, With good service in a full-service restaurant I usually tip 20%. What is the protocol for gratuities at a non-traditional restaurant like Genghis Grill, Souper Salad, buffets, and even take-out food?                       

Barb ~ If you have never worked in the hospitality industry you may not be aware that many service positions such as waiters, bar tenders, and bus boys do not even make minimum wage. Often times, waiters make half of minimum wage. They rely on tips, but are also be required to share their tips with bus boys, bar tenders, and hostesses; their “support staff.” Generally cashiers and cooks are paid at or above minimum wage and not considered a tipped position. With take-out food from a full service restaurant, your order is rung up by a server and included in their sales for the day. These total sales are what they tip their support staff on. While they did not service a table for you with refills, clearing of plates, and conversation, they do package your food and include your sides, sauces, plastic wear, etc. You can leave anywhere from a couple of dollars to 10% depending on the size of your order. Quick Food places similar to Subway and Chipotle where you are filling your own drinks and clearing your own table (if you see a place for your tray or trash, use it) are not places where you would leave a gratuity. Fast Casual restaurants such as Pei Wei have staff dedicated to bringing your food, but you get your own drinks and refills. You will notice there is no “Tip Line” on your bill, and a quick phone call to this restaurant confirmed that tipping is not expected. I asked them, “what about a bunch of kids that make a big mess, would I need to leave a little something then?” They answered that while it’s a nice gesture, they still do not expect it. Genghis Grill has servers that take your drink order, refill drinks and even tell you about desserts. Their servers make the $2.13/hour and even though they do not bring you your food, are tipped about 15% for their level of service. Buffets that have a service person bringing you refills throughout your meal such as Souper Salad do expect gratuities. The level of service is under what you could expect from Genghis Grill and if you did not get a refill, then you should not tip more than 10%, if your server gave you service with clearing and refilling, leave a 10-15% gratuity. When making the decision, consider whether or not you had a dedicated service person taking care of you during the course of your meal. If you had horrible service, then tip – or don’t tip appropriately. When in doubt, a quick phone call to the manager before heading out will put your mind – and guilt at ease. They would appreciate you asking.

Wear's the Buzz?

Q ~ Kelly in Dallas asks: Barb, my daughter always seems to attract mosquitoes and gets terrible welts every time she is bitten. With the season coming up I was thinking about ordering the majority of her wardrobe as the mosquito repelling clothes. Is it okay to dress her in these every day?                       

Barb ~ Insect Repellent Clothing is made by impregnating clothing with the chemical permethrin. It works similar to the sprays: when mosquitoes and other biting insects get close, their neurons are stressed and they lose muscle coordination and so cannot attack. Though permethrin is a form of a natural insect repellent found in the chrysanthemum plant, it is a man-made chemical. As with any chemical that touches your child’s skin, you should read all warning labels and directions. My only problem with these clothes is that they usually do not carry any more than washing instructions: they should be washed separately, never dry-cleaned, and should last about 25 washings. This means the chemical can be washed off and transferred onto other clothing so of course it can also be absorbed into the skin – just like sprays. But they are effective, and save you the step of spraying – and re-spraying every few hours the smelly stuff. I would suggest using them as you would the sprays – only when the occasion calls for it. You would not re-apply the spray if she was going to be playing indoors, so she would not need to wear the clothes when not at risk for mosquito bites. You also should wash the sprays off your skin after you come inside, and because, like DEET and similar ingredients in the sprays, permethrin can be toxic if misused, it would be wise to do the same with the clothing.

Valentine's Day Rant

Barb takes the opportunity to discuss Valentine's Day - careful; this is not for the faint of heart!

Barb ~ I try to keep to myself with most things religious, political, and holiday. “To each his/her own,” I say, “as long as they don’t try to make theirs mine.” But as the most Hallmarkanized holiday on the calendar approaches I ask, what is the Valentine equivalent for “bah, humbug?” Even though I remind the hubby every year that he is not to utter a single acknowledging word about it, the years of marketing messages cause an internal conflict in him. How can his wife possibly know how deeply he cares for her if he does not express it on February 14th with red, glittery, fluffy, chocolaty tangibles? I know what some want to ask me, and yes, I was that unpopular child who only got about 3 valentines from the other kids at school – the ones whose parents made them be nice to everybody. And now my kids have to experience the ridiculous traditions at school. Don’t we have snow days to make up? Why are we wasting a school day on a holiday with historical roots relating to romantic love? Kids get enough mixed messages. Don’t pack sugary snacks in your lunch box but here, take some pure refined sugar compressed into a heart shape and stamped with “Kiss Me” – but you could be sent home if you do actually kiss or touch inappropriately another student. I call for a Separation of Holiday and State. We as a society have bought into some genius marketing plans. According to Wikipedia, “The U.S. Greeting Card Association estimates that approximately one billion valentines are sent each year worldwide, making the day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year behind Christmas. The association estimates that women purchase approximately 85 percent of all valentines.” And forget recycling all those cards – because if you don’t keep it, well then, you just don’t love them back. The ‘Hallmark-likes’ have us believing that on this day over any other, we need to buy or spend to prove our love to someone. Most restaurants over-price their “special” menus, and we turn into emotional morons with the heart-shaped this and red-and-gold that. “My box of chocolates is bigger than your box of chocolates, he must really, really love me.” I get the message buried under all this guilt-driven over-spending. But here’s an idea: communicate that message every day. It does not take a holiday. I’m your significant other every day. I’m special every day darn it; let me know you appreciate me every day. Say it, show it with a small gesture, let me sleep in on Saturday. Bring me my diet-coke in the morning. Buy me that bracelet I’ve been eyeing, if we can afford it, on January 14 or March 14 or any day between April 14 and December 14. Just don’t be guilted into buying it on February 14th.

Tanning Hides

Q ~ Amy in Carrolton asks, Barb, it’s been a long time since I have been able to enjoy the pool and sun, and with summer around the corner I want to finally be ready. I’ve finally lost the baby weight but I am so pale and considering tanning beds. Are they any safer than they were a decade ago? I do not want to use them if they are any worse for you than the sun, but I would love to have a quick tan.                       

Barb ~ Amy, long story short – stick to the SPF lotion and the sun. The rays you catch from the tanning beds are 2-3 times stronger than the sun’s. If you properly use the right SPF for your skin, you can enjoy the sun and tan safely without major damage to your skin. Bonus: up to thirty minutes of sun exposure a few days a week will help your body produce Vitamin D. If you are looking for a quick glow, consider sunless tanners. These lotions are generally safe, work best with medium complexions and react with the top layer of dead skin cells to give you a tanned look. You can experiment with different brands on areas you typically cover. Spray-on tans are currently considered safe, but you want to make sure you protect your eyes and hold your breath.

Multitasking Geniuses

Q ~ This time, Barb asks you: Multitask much? Juggle just a bit? Getting creative in checking things off your to-do list? If I didn’t laugh at the crazy things parents I know (including myself) have done to spare a little time and sanity, I’d cry. I’ve admitted to regularly touching up my gray before meetings with the dry-erase marker in the office. I have a regular exercise routine - I can get a least 15 squats or deep-knee bends in while brushing my teeth – each time I brush so that’s like, a full lower body workout. Sometimes I kick it up with leg lifts while I do the dishes. I know a mom-nurse who barely gets enough sleep with a newborn, so she just sleeps in her uniform and spares herself the time to get dressed for work in the middle of the night. And who among us won’t admit to getting some of their best work done while on the toilet? Who doesn’t take a book, laptop or conference call into the bathroom, muting the phone only to flush? Legs falling asleep because you are almost done with the last chapter/email/bill/toenail; still directing family members in their duties and playing a game of peek-a-boo under the door to get some privacy? It’s not just me, right? Right? So let me know what you have been reduced to in your crazy life. Are you a MacGyver mom? What is the funniest quick-fix you’ve come up with in times of minor crises? How low have you lowered your expectations? Want to turn in a friend or spouse? You can keep it confidential, but I want to share the best stories in next week’s Ask Barb.                       

Barb ~ Well, I asked for it. I had some very interesting emails, and I have to say, we are one potty-productive group. While one mom told me that she has gotten “very good with the mute button,” so she could return phone calls while in the bathroom, another emailed me that she has gotten very good at “controlling the stream during a conversation.” There’s also a lot of food going in to bathrooms with moms. While some moms say they nurse or bottle feed while on the potty, one mom wrote that when she knows she will need to dedicate some time on the potty, she will wait until a meal time and “roll his highchair in so I can spoon feed at the same time.” We had some fitness tips submitted as well. One new mom that is trying to get her flat stomach back before her maternity leave is up does sit ups while holding baby against her chest. “He loves the rocking so he stays very calm and still.” Another mom loves to read but hates sitting around so she listens to audio books on her headphones while she walks. One of my favorites lets mom avoid sweeping, and gives the children a good workout. “I hand each kid a Swifter and plastic air hockey puck. They race, play a game of hockey, or just volley it. My hardwoods look great.” My favorite top three though are: 3) “I am back at work after only taking one month off to have our daughter. I am still losing weight and just too cheap and busy to go buy something that fits. My quick-fix is the office supply room. Every day I take to use a few paper clips and a tape roll to cinch the waist and keep my pants from falling down. 2) “I have short hair so I can dry and style it with the air vents in my car. If I stop at enough lights I can even use my round brush to style.” 1) The #1 favorite submission is, thankfully, a dad’s story. His wife really sold him out, and I thank her for it! “its dad’s job to get the laundry washed, folded and put away so of course he never finds clean socks or underwear when he needs them. So he just wears the dirties into the shower to wash two birds with one stone.” Thanks to everyone for sharing!

Explaining Death

Q ~ Mary in Haslet asks: My 19 month old grandson's mother died last month after a month long illness. She and my son shared custody. My son moved back home in July to save for a house. Which was good on his part because I can watch my grandson while he is at work. What should we look for? He does not ask for her but seems well adjusted so far. Any suggestions?                       

Barb ~ We thank Crista E. Wetherington, Ph.D., Pediatric Psychologist at Children's Medical Center Dallas and Assistant Professor in Psychiatry, UTSW for her contribution to this Ask Barb: Dear Mary, Your grandson is fortunate that you are aware of how significant the loss of his mother is and will continue to be for him. At 19 months of age, he has a very limited understanding of death and of his mother's absence from his life. Pay attention to any significant behavioral changes that interfere with his overall functioning. He may be more fussy or tearful than normal, become upset more easily than usual, and be more clingy with caregivers. If he has these behaviors to the point that he does not enjoy playing, cannot separate from caregivers, or does not smile or laugh, I would talk to your pediatrician about resources available to help you and your family. If you do not see signs of distress right now, it is likely related to his developmental level and the fact that he simply does not fully grasp what has happened. When children cope with significant loss, they often "re-process" the loss and grief at different stages of development as they have the cognitive and emotional ability to understand the loss differently. As he gets older a little older, he will likely have concrete questions about his mother and her death, and when he is even older, these questions will become more abstract. For now, keep a consistent routine, ensure that he is able to spend quality time with familiar relatives and caregivers, and provide familiar comfort objects from his mother's home (a favorite stuffed animal or blanket, for example).

Top Chef

Q ~ Laurie in The Colony asks: Barb, my almost 5 year old son loves to help me cook in the kitchen and often pretends to cook with my real pots and pans. I want to get him some play kitchen toys for Christmas, maybe even an Easy Bake Oven – something just for him to play with instead of my real things. My husband says “no way.” He doesn’t think I should encourage “girl” play – he says it is because he does not want him to be made fun of at school, but I think he has a real hang-up about it. What do you think?                       

Barb ~ In my opinion, all little boys should be encouraged to pretend cook, pretend clean, pretend do the laundry, and pretend take care of the baby. This way, little girls don’t grow up and pretend they can do it all without locking themselves in the bathroom to cry with a bottle of Cabernet. Half-Joking aside, little boys eventually move out and cooking skills can come in handy. It’s fine that your son shows an interest in cooking, and he probably loves the time he gets to spend with you while cooking together. So to your husband I say: 25 million, 9 million, 12 million. These are the respective annual earnings of famous chefs Gordon Ramsey, Emeril Lagasse, and Wolfgang Puck. To you I say: Check the age recommendation on that Easy Bake – I think they are for older children.

Thumbs Up

Q ~ Debbie in Plano asks: How do I stop my 2 year old from sucking his thumb? He started at 3 months and still it goes in his mouth while playing, sleeping, riding in the car, etc... Should I be concerned that he is damaging his teeth?                       

Barb ~ Dr. Hale, pediatric dentist and clinical director at Children’s Medical Dental Service says that it is okay…for now. There will be no permanent damage to the teeth if he stops by age 4. Getting a child to stop thumb sucking takes a consistent effort, tailored to the child’s age and temperament. While some outgrow it, others need encouragement, especially if it has become a self-soothing technique. Plan to take a few weeks to devote yourself to the effort. Make sure to give your child a lot of extra attention and if he becomes nervous or stressed throughout the day, take the time to give him extra cuddles. Communicate as appropriate that he is growing into a big boy and that you are proud of him. Use distraction when you see him getting bored, getting nervous, or anything that usually makes him suck his thumb. Keep him busy with play and take him to new places. Reward him daily. For evenings, consider using a thumb guard. This is a glove or sleeve of some sort that fits over the thumb to discourage the child from thumb sucking. You can find many different kinds by searching online.

Vapor Feet

Q ~ Laura from Bedford asks: A friend of mine told me that she puts Vicks Vapor Rub on the bottom of her son’s feet to help with nighttime coughs. Is there any truth to this? Is it safe?                       

Barb ~ It is possible for someone to be allergic to any of the ingredients in Vicks VapoRub or other similar brands. If you have been safely using it with no problems and you have no cuts or problems with your feet, then it is safe to use on the bottom of your feet. The story goes that using Vicks VapoRub liberally on the bottom of the feet and then covering with socks will sooth and relieve a cough for hours, beyond the traditional use on the chest. There is a lack of scientific support for this use, but a two-second Google search turns up thousands of testimonies that it does work. It may have something to do with stimulating blood flow or dilating blood vessels in the feet. But as any desperate parent knows, if it’s safe, it’s worth a try. Interestingly enough, there are other unusual uses for the product as discovered by consumers, including smearing it on the bird feeder pole to keep the squirrels away.

Safety Seating

Q ~ Camille in Colleyville asks: I am amazed at the amount of children that are not in a car seat. My son (7) towers over some of his classmates, yet they are no longer in seats. Their mothers tell me that they outgrew them already. Maybe they did not realize new laws went into effect, or did they “grandfather” kids in?                       

Barb ~ Current Texas law dictates that all children, 7 years and younger and less than 57 inches tall, must be in a car seat. All others must use the vehicle safety belt. It may be that these classmates are already 8 years old, but there was not a “grandfather” clause. The laws cover the absolute minimums. Children can remain in boosters until they outgrow them if parents choose to do so. Here is a link to child restraint/belt use laws in the state of Texas: http://www.iihs.org/laws/restraintoverview.aspx. You can find more information about child restraint use and an option to type in your zip code to see where the closest fitting station in your area is: http://www.nhtsa.gov/Driving+Safety/Child+Safety. For this age, your son and classmates fitting requirement for seat use would most likely need to be in a Booster Seat. The IIHS Booster Best Bets report from last month is a great place to find where your seat rates and how other brands performed: http://www.iihs.org/research/topics/boosters/best_bets.aspx. Many thanks to Britax for the helpful information and links!

Take a seat!

Q ~ Karie in Allen asks: Barb, do you have anything to say to the Public Restroom Hoverers? They are the ones leaving the mess on the toilet seat, right? If everybody just sat down, there would be no reason to hover!                       

Barb ~ Hmmmm.. I guess I’d have to say it’s a fine way to get your squats in. To answer your question, it’ not just the hoverers leaving the mess. It is anyone that flushes the toilet. You know those almost violent flushing toilets? Anything that went in, including fecal matter and germs, can be propelled into the air when the toilet is flushed, landing on the seat, the ground around it, and even the toilet paper roll. For a great visual, try adding some food coloring to the water in such a toilet. Line the seat with some layers of toilet paper, and flush. You’ll only see a portion of what is sprayed. Here’s the deal on public toilet seats: The seats themselves don’t keep organisms alive for long. Seat covers, if you can get them to stay in place (that flap should be outlawed), do next to nothing to protect. Baylor University conducted a study that showed hepatitis C can travel through FIVE layers of seat covers. So if something is on the seat we can conclude that A) it won’t live there for very long but B) even if it did, seat protectors will not help you. The problem is when there is a line of patrons, exiting and entering the stall before the spray even has time to settle.

A Visit to the State Fair

Q ~ It’s time for the State Fair and many will be going as a family for the first time. An outing like this can be very overwhelming to first-timers, so I have asked the most knowledgeable fair-oisseur I know to be a guest contributor to this week’s feature with Tips and Tricks to survive and enjoy the annual tradition. A huge “Thank You” to Lydia Walker-Tang for her help!                     

Barb ~ There are 2 nursing/changing stations shown on the maps, but less known are the Charmin sponsored restrooms that are nicer than some of the others. Milk is available at two places: the general store and the Schweppes dairy booth. Sunscreen (a must) can be bought at the store, or there is a very generic supply available from the first aid station. Wear comfortable shoes! Entrances have Children’s ID bands to help find lost parents. Kid friendly suggestions: do the slides early or late, they get hot! When the weather is really warm, look for cool spots the kids will enjoy: the sheep herding, bird show, car expo, and food building. Kids get 'paid' with a snack for their work at little hands on the farm. The Coliseum has a sand castle play area. Also, you can bring your own stroller or wagon to cart the kids around in! If they get tired while there, check the map for rental places. Ice chest and food from home are allowed, just no glass containers or alcohol (they will search at the gates for safety). Here's a link to the full list of brings and don't brings: http://www.bigtex.com/generalinfo/faqs/bring.asp

LitterBugs Me

Q ~ No-one asked, but Barb takes on littering, in her single attempt to make another difference in the Metroplex.                     

Barb ~ Do you litter? I’m sure if you have a cup or fast-food bag you look for a trash can but what about cigarette butts, gum wrappers, tissues, lollipop sticks- you know, the little things that don’t take up too much space? The one that makes me cringe the most is the used diaper. Really people, if you don’t want to look at it or smell it in your car for the short drive home, what makes you think I want to look at it? How hard is it to keep a grocery bag inside your car for trash and then drop that into the nearest trash can? Yesterday I saw a handful of drivers tossing cigarette butts out of their car windows and began to think of just how inconsiderate litterbugs are. How is it any different than peeing in the community pool? I wonder if they would be bothered to see me toss a cheeseburger wrapper out of my car window. Or better yet, if they saw their neighbor toss the diaper pail contents out of their window or front door. I bet they’d be worried that property values were going to drop. I bet they’d be upset when a gust of wind delivered that trash right to their front door. Whether it’s a tiny gum wrapper or a diaper, it all adds up, and so does the cost of littering. In Texas the fine for littering is up to $500. The primary labor for picking up litter on roadsides is not inmates but paid contractors. Your tax dollars are paying for it. But if that trash ends up in a parking lot or in front of a business, then that business has to pay someone to go clean it up. The consumers pay for that in higher prices. So if you want to trash up your own home, that is peachy with me. But please don’t ask me to chip in to support your habit. The next time you are sitting at a stop light, jut take a look around. Just for one day, take note of all the trash cans you spot. There’s an equation there, and even a child can figure it out.

Birthday Suits

Q ~ Jackie in Burleson asks" My 6 year old daughter recently had her first sleepover at my cousin’s house. My cousin and her husband have three children, 6, 4, and 2. We are close but my daughter told me something that really took me by surprise, and now I am really kind of freaked out by it. She said that my cousin and her husband walk around naked. I asked her if they were just trying to get dressed or if they were in their room, but she said that they kind of just walked around like they were taking their time to get into their pajamas. She asked their 6 year old about it and found out that this is normal behavior for them. I brought it up with my cousin on the phone, and she made me feel like a prude that was going to give my kids issues with their bodies, that it was perfectly normal for children to see parents walking around naked. I don’t mind getting dressed in front of my daughter, but we would not feel comfortable with my husband getting dressed in front of her. We don’t make a big deal, but getting dressed is one thing and just lounging around is another. So is my cousin right, do I need to relax? Or am I right to be freaked out?                     

Barb ~ Jackie, I’ve asked the experts at Children’s Medical Center for help in answering your question. A big “thank you” to Children’s and Jane Le Vieux, PhD, RN, LPC, RPT-S, a psychiatric consult nurse at Children’s Medical Center:

There are two issues regarding this topic. Every family has its own set of rules and mores. Your cousin’s choice to walk around naked in front her own children is her choice. To walk around naked in front of children outside their immediate family is not respectful to those children or their families. You expressed to your cousin your concerns, including what you and your husband feel is right for your family. The fact that your child not only asked her 6-year-old cousin about it, but then also told you, indicates your child’s discomfort. There are general guidelines for when to stop being naked in front of your children. When young children begin to notice and ask many questions about the differences between mom and dad, that would be the best time to stop. Take the time to explain to your child that there are certain parts of their body (areas covered by a swimsuit) that are not for showing or letting others touch. Make a point to wear a towel or bathrobe to cover those areas before getting dressed for the day. Teach your child to knock and wait before entering a room. The decision to refrain from overnight sleepovers at your cousin’s is a decision to be made by you and your husband.

Color Commandments

Q ~ Susan in Richardson asks: Barb, what is the rule on not wearing white after Labor Day? Is it just shoes, pants, or anything white?                     

Barb ~ “””Technically””” fashion rules have relaxed on this a bit and suggest you can wear it if you pair it right. For example, a white blouse under a lightweight, darker sweater and with darker pants is okay but not with white shorts and sandals. But you can skip white shoes altogether, no matter what time of year it is. Some fashion experts say white pants are okay if they are not a lightweight material, and paired with black tops and black boots. You can also find “winter whites” in creamy, off-white shades that are appropriate. Some “old-school” people have as hard a time of letting this rule go as the white-wine-fish, red-wine-beef rule. But it now relies on how “classic” your personal taste or sense of style is, or if you like to break the old fashion rules.

Midnight Munchies

Q ~ Taren from Addison asks: My two year old keeps waking up in the middle of the night and asking for a snack. I have not been giving him one, but worry if he is hungry or in the middle of a growth spurt that he may really be hungry. Should I allow a snack?                     

Barb ~ You will want to discuss this with your pediatrician, but generally, it is not wise to give midnight snacks. Kids are creatures of habit and you risk creating a routine. Unless there is an underlying medical issue, children do not need to have a full tummy to be able to sleep at night – just like you. But if you give in and give a snack, then you may be training him to be a night feeder, programming his body to get up expecting a snack. Remember also basic science: Food=Calories=Energy=Too wired to go back to sleep. Bodies (excluding babies) adjust to getting the calories they need during the daytime hours. Try feeding dinner at a reasonable time – not too close to bedtime that he is too tired to eat, and you can give a healthy snack at bedtime. Most importantly, talk to your pediatrician to rule out any medical issues.

The Family Table

Q ~ Jennie in Plano asks: Barb, my husband works late hours and I usually have the children in their pajamas by the time he gets home. He would like for us to eat dinner all together but he does not have a consistent schedule and I prefer to eat with him when they are tucked in so that I can take my time, relax, and catch up with him. Can we find a way to compromise without upsetting the children’s routines?                     

Barb ~ A host of studies have shown that eating dinner as a family can provide serious benefits. It gives everyone the opportunity to discuss their day, current topics, and to engage in a bonding experience. Many studies also show that children who sat for a family meal regularly were less likely to be tempted by alcohol, and other drugs, less likely to smoke cigarettes and are 40% more likely to get good grades. They also make healthier food choices, and for girls in particular, it shows a reduced risk of crash dieting or having a distorted body image. Babies and toddlers are exposed to a variety of the foods you eat, and get to practice their social skills with you. The reality is that families today have busy schedules, and they do not always allow for the family to enjoy a meal together. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself – you are right to keep them on a routine. Many parents can relate to the bliss that is eating a meal while it is still hot, without a two year old in your lap. However, you can still sit with them while they are eating and ask them questions about their day. When dad comes home he can sit with them right away, regardless of whether or not they are eating. When you can schedule a consistent family meal time, such as breakfast, or weekends, do as often as you can.

Cart-Correctness

Q ~ No-one asked, but Barb takes on Shopping Cart etiquette, in her single attempt to make a difference in parking lots across the Metroplex.                     

Barb ~ Did you know there is a ‘Return Shopping Carts to the Supermarket’ Month? It’s February, but I can’t wait that long to address this topic. If I can convince just one person to never leave a shopping cart stray in the parking lot, then I will sleep better tonight. Today I walked out of the grocery store to see a perfectly healthy middle-aged man struggle to trudge a cart over a curb to leave it in the grass next to my car– 20 feet from the store entrance. He was parked in the third spot from the front. This guy has re-defined egocentric laziness. Please don’t be that guy. Here are some things to consider the next time you contemplate a ditch-and-dash. Stray carts scattered in the parking lot mean less available shopping carts for customers to use and less available customer parking. Have you ever pulled into a parking spot to see it is blocked by a shopping cart? Stores have to pay personnel to go out and fetch them. You can safely assume that extra labor cost will be passed on to you and other customers. A simple breeze can roll that cart into a parked car, causing damage. Average price of a typical car repair from shopping cart damage? Between $500 and $900. The store has to replace the damaged carts. Average price of a shopping cart? $150, and again, you can safely assume the cost is passed back to the customer. There’s more, such as the damage you can do to landscape, grass, plants, and irrigation when you take that extra selfless step of jumping the curb with the cart to secure it in grass. Finally, consider the damage you cause your body by depriving it of the two-minute round trip walk to the designated cart return. “But Baaarb,” you say, “I have multiple screaming children with me.” Ask a bagger to help you out with your groceries, or park next to the cart corral. Just please, don’t be that guy.

The Big Move

Q ~ Patricia from Denton asks: We're going to be moving next month. Do you have any suggestions for preparing my 2yr old for the move?                     

Barb ~ It’s great that you are thinking ahead because kids, including toddlers, do need to be prepared for the move. So with all the packing and preparation that you have to budget time for, you will also need to build in extra time to give your toddler some special attention, making the move less stressful on you both. The most important thing you can do is keep positive. You will be frustrated with many things but your mood may send the wrong message to a toddler, and they will be looking to you for reassurance. Try to talk to him about it daily, and ask questions too to keep him involved. “What is the first thing you would like to eat when we get to the new house?” or “which towels/sheets/etc would you like first when we get to the new house?” A toddler’s frustration often stems from feeling powerless so giving him control of some little decisions may help him feel confident about the move. Avoid being dismissive of any of their fears or anxieties but be empathetic and answer questions honestly. If possible, visit the new neighborhood now and drive around, play in a nearby park, or shop in the local store and allow your child to pick out a plant for the kitchen (he can water it as needed and be responsible for it when in the new house) or something for his room. You may be able to find a book about moving that you can read now, or make up stories to help explain how the move will happen. “We’ll pack your toys in a box, put them in a car and then take them out of the box when we get there.” Allow your child to help you “pack” a box. Make sure to pack in a way that makes it easy for you to first get his essentials unpacked in his room; bedding, toys, videos, even his plates and cups to keep things as familiar as possible. When you arrive at the new house, try to arrange his room the same as his current room to start. Finally, while you are unpacking and settling in to the new house, make time to do some of his favorite things, or plan a play date with a familiar friend.

Sweat the Sweet?

Q ~ Nicolette in Burleson asks Barb, My family has never been big on sweets, an occasional treat here and there. The kids generally make good choices so I do not really mind when they ask for candy or soda. However, since we are not big on sweets, we often have things with sweetener in them, like diet cola or sugar-free cookies and candy. I wonder if they are not consuming too much either way, is it better for me to give them the real stuff or is the sweetener okay?                     

Barb ~ A big “thank you” to Children’s Medical Center and Samantha Bader, RD/LD, CDE, with the Clinical Nutrition service at Children’s Medical Center. There is a chart and everything!

Artificial sweetener ADI* Estimated ADI equivalent** OK for cooking? Aspartame (NutraSweet, Equal) 50 milligrams (mg) per kilogram (kg) 18 to 19 cans of diet cola No Saccharin (Sweet'N Low, SugarTwin) 5 mg per kg 9 to 12 packets of sweetener Yes Acesulfame K (Sunett, Sweet One) 15 mg per kg 30 to 32 cans of diet lemon-lime soda*** Yes Sucralose (Splenda) 5 mg per kg 6 cans of diet cola*** Yes

ALL foods are acceptable in MODERATION. Artificial sweeteners are often the topic of cancer-causing conversation, but according to the National Cancer Institute there is no clear evidence of an association with cancer in humans that consume such sweeteners. The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has approved several low-calorie sweeteners for use in a variety of foods. An “acceptable daily intake” (ADI) has been established for each approved artificial sweetener. The ADI is considered the maximum safe amount to be consumed daily in one’s lifetime. The following table derived by MayoClinic.com displays the ADI per day for FDA approved artificial sweeteners. Remember, ALL foods are acceptable in MODERATION.
*FDA-established acceptable daily intake (ADI) limit per kilogram (2.2 pounds) of body weight.
**Product-consumption equivalent for a person weighing 150 pounds (68 kilograms).
***These products usually contain more than one type of sweetener.

Teething Tablets

Q ~ Regan in Fort Worth asks: I have recently discovered a brand of, "all natural" teething tablets that work wonders on my little guy during his worst teething moments. However, I had a friend show concern about some of the ingredients listed. I know that this type of product is not regulated by the FDA, should I continue to use them? How do you know if this type of product is safe?                     

Barb ~ *Edited to Add: Hyland’s Teething Tablets are the focus of an October 2010 recall. For more information please see: U.S. Food and Drug Administration today is warning consumers that Hyland's Teething Tablets may pose a risk to children

A big “Thank You” to Children’s Medical Center and Colleen E. Parks, MS, RD, LD for answering Regan’s question. The short answer is: It depends. There are different types of teething tablets on the market. Some are marketed as "homeopathic" and others as "dietary supplements." Homeopathy is an "all natural" approach to medicine; homeopathic products contain very small amounts of mineral or plant substances. The FDA recognizes homeopathic remedies as drugs and regulates them accordingly. (Want more on homeopathy? Check out the National Institutes of Health National Center for Complimentary and Alternative Medicine website, http://nccam.nih.gov/health/homeopathy). However, products that are considered to be dietary supplements are a little different. Under the Dietary Supplement Health and Education Act of 1994 (DSHEA), manufacturers are responsible for ensuring that a dietary supplement is safe before it is marketed. Once the product hits the market, the FDA is responsible for regulating unsafe dietary supplements. In other words, the difference in homeopathic remedies vs. dietary supplement is in how the FDA is involved regulating such products. For more on dietary supplements, visit (http://www.fda.gov/Food/DietarySupplements/ConsumerInformation/ucm110567.htm) Consumers should know that there are safety issues related to dietary supplements because the FDA does not regulate them like drugs. Keep in mind that there may be possible interactions with dietary supplements and over the counter/prescription medications - or even a possible interaction with certain foods. Bottom line? Read the product box and use caution. And be sure to talk to your pediatrician before giving your children any type of medication. Colleen E. Parks, MS, RD, LD, with the Clinical Nutrition department at Children's Medical Center

A Smoky Situation

Q ~ Kim in Grand Prairie asks, What would you do if you saw a pregnant girl smoke cigarettes? Should you mind your own business and keep your mouth shut or should you confront her? How would I approach her and ask in a nice way that she is potentially harming her baby and herself?                     

Barb ~ I can’t imagine that anyone has missed the news that smoking cigarettes is harmful to your health, and the health of those in and around you. Cigarettes are so addictive that people ignore those warnings every day, and unfortunately, yours will not make a difference either. Other people’s choices, including their bad habits, should remain their business, unless they are directly affecting you or your loved ones. This is comparable to a parent who gives their child far too many sweets or junk food; or one that physically disciplines. If this girl is a stranger, then don’t give unsolicited advice. If this is a loved one, then you have more of a right to bring it up. In this case, I would do this in a non-judgmental way. You could say, “I’m sure it’s very difficult to quit smoking while you are pregnant, is there anything I can do as your friend to help support you?”

The End of Naps

Q ~ Laura in Frisco asks: My almost 3 yr old still gets pretty tired by afternoon but if she naps more than an hour she has a hard time getting to sleep at night and often takes hours to fall asleep. I have been limiting her naps to an hour and that has helped. Should I try to skip naps altogether or let her stop napping on her own, and how old are they when they stop needing napping?                       

Barb ~ A big “Thank You” To Children’s Medical Center and Dr. John Herman for this week’s answer:

"Napping occurs twice a day in most 1-year-old infants, and by age 2, napping is usually once a day. Napping stops by ages 2 to 5 in most young children," says Dr. John Herman, Ph.D., with the Sleep Disorders Center at Children's Medical Center. "It is a common problem that afternoon naps interfere with sleep onset in some toddlers. If you restrict your 3-year old's naps to one hour, your child has limited problems with sleep onset. Therefore, you should continue to allow your child to nap as long as she needs to," says Dr. Herman, who is also a professor of Psychiatry and Pediatrics at UT Southwestern Medical Center.

So if you have found balance with one-hour naps, continue them as long as it is working for you!

In Your Face Book

Q ~ Mary in Sachse asks: Barb, my mother in law recently joined facebook! We get along okay, but I don’t want her reading everything I post and I admit I maybe sometimes vent about her and maybe sometimes I vent about her on facebook and message boards. She sent me a friend request, what should I do?                       

Barb ~ If you get along fine and there are no issues that you should be addressing with her directly, then you have to treat this as if she was in the same room with you. The time-tested advice of “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything” is as appropriate for social media as it is in any social setting. You would not risk her overhearing or somebody repeating what you said if you were both at the same social gathering. Accept the friend request, and use your privacy settings to hide her and make sure she does not see your posts, but between the always-changing policies and procedures of facebook and the Six Degrees of Separation on the world wide web, it is not worth the risk that a simple post gets back to her and you upset her and other family. I know you may sometimes just want to vent about little irritations, but best to keep these in private conversations or emails or on anonymous message boards than on facebook.

Too Much of a Good Thing

Q ~ Michelle in Arlington asks: I don’t want to sound heartless but I am really annoyed at my local grocery store for too much fundraising. Every time I go in there (at least twice a week) the cashier asks me if I want to donate something to whatever cause they are supporting at the time, but today was really bad. They had someone stationed at the entrance asking everyone that came in and again when they left, there were signs all over the store, and the cashier asked me three times – it was like she was on “auto.” In a thirty minute trip I was asked if I wanted to make a donation 5 times – not to mention the signs all over the store. A part of me thought that money that I spend in the store is going to pay for all these signs, and for a dedicated staff member to stand at the door just to ask for donations. Should I say something or am I just being ugly?
                      
Barb ~ I have to agree with you. While I definitely appreciate the fundraising, that sounds excessive. Fundraising makes a huge difference in the lives of many but takes some effort, and during an occasional campaign some signage and the cashier asking once is reasonable. It does seem like they are over-doing a good thing. Remember that the cashier and other staff are doing what they are asked, but I would call or email the store manager to let them know you feel – five times in 30 minutes if warranted. I think they would rather hear from their customers than loose them. Just be constructive and respectful in your feedback, setting an example of how you hope they conduct these efforts in the future.

Night Fears

Q ~ Amanda in Garland asks, Barb, my 8 year old son has started having problems going to bed at night. He wants to sleep with the lights on and keeps getting up to ask us if all the doors are locked, and that he is worried about someone breaking in. Is this normal and what should I do?
                      
Barb ~ If he can go to sleep with a little extra encouragement and it is not affecting his daily behavior than this is normal. He is becoming more aware of the world around him, outside of the safety of his home. While each child is unique, the most important thing is to not dismiss his fears as foolish, but to allow him to verbalize what he is feeling. Do consider if he is watching violent shows on television or playing video games that involve fighting off attackers. Studies clearly show that violent shows can increase aggression in this age group. Talk to him and involve him. Do have a safety plan and communicate it. Let him know what precautions you take to make sure the house is safe at night. If the lights make him feel better then definitely allow them, perhaps install a dimmer so they do not keep him up. Allow him a flashlight by his bed. He may feel better having walkie-talkies between your room and his. If his fears become irrational or you are not able to calm him then please visit his pediatrician.

How to make your own play-dough

Q ~ Sarah from Arlington asks: Barb, we’re going through Play-Doh like crazy this summer, trying to stay out of the heat. The kids are having a blast, but I’m tired of paying for the stuff that later gets found in my carpet, or their mouths! Do you have a good, easy, inexpensive recipe for make your own Play-Doh? I’ve also heard about edible, peanut butter based homemade Play-Doh. Is it worth trying, or should I stick to the basics?
                      
Barb ~ What a great idea Sarah, and what a great way to keep the kids entertained by making it too! While the original Play-Doh recipe is a secret, you can easily find many similar recipes that involve cooking over a low heat, or no-cook varieties so the younger kids can help in each step of the process. Generally the ones you cook turn out a bit better. Basic recipes utilize salt, water, flour, oil, and food coloring. You can try mixing it up a bit by adding a bit of Kool Aid mix for color and scent, using herb-infused oils, or using your creativity by experimenting with different ingredients to scent or color. Make sure you protect your work surfaces and that little ones or pets do not try to sample too much. While non-toxic, the recipes do include a lot of salt. If you store in an air-tight containers, these last as long as the store-brands. Here are links to get you started: http://www.cooks.com/rec/view/0,199,145167-239205,00.html;  http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Peanut-Butter-Playdough/Detail.aspx; http://www.instructables.com/id/Easy-Affordable-Play-Dough/. 

A Bath A Day?

Q ~ Sara in McKinney asks: Barb, is it gross not to bathe your kids every day? My almost 2 year old twins don’t always get dirty or sweaty and they do not have much hair yet. I don’t want to be that kind of mom but they do not like baths. What do you think?
                      
Barb ~ Many pediatricians will tell you that daily baths for younger children are not necessary. Obviously if they stink, sit in the litter box, or you can’t remember the last time you gave them a bath then it’s time. But if they stay indoors and don’t get too messy, it is actually better for their skin to at least skip a day to avoid dryness and irritation. Do a little diaper area maintenance or spot cleaning when you change them and keep to frequent hand washing.

Cash it or save it? 

Q ~ Jenn in McKinney asks, My kids receive money as a gift from family members on birthdays, holidays and sometimes just for helping grandma with chores. We have very modest savings accounts for each of them and I think we should ask them to put the money in savings. My husband thinks this is “play” money and they should have fun with it. What do you think?
                      
Barb ~ I think you are both right. Kids of all ages can learn responsibility, and responsible spending is one lesson many adults wish they had learned while they were young. They should learn the value of saving, but allow them to practice saving. Meaning, if they really want a new toy or something, even if you can get it for them, encourage them to save up for it, and to purchase it once they have saved enough. This helps them see the real benefit of saving, that it is there when you need it. Keep a continuing dialogue that as they get older they will be saving for things like a car, a home, and emergencies – but keep these conversations age-appropriate. Help them make wise decisions. Ask them, “Do you want to spend this $5 on something small now, or put it away for the new toy you really want?” Give them the option of saving some and spending some. I am a big fan on giving allowances for assigned chores (see my answer on Allowance Sense and Cents). This gives them practice on the “real world” of working and earning.

Accommodating Sensory Issues

Q ~ Nancy in Dallas asks, My friend has a son with undiagnosed sensory issues. When they come over to play she asks my son to turn off his sound toys because her son doesn't like the noise. I don't want to be rude but should I tell her this is our house and my son enjoys playing with noisy toys?
                      
Barb ~ While the “My House, My Rules” directive is appropriate for requiring manners and conduct, this is not a good situation to apply it to. You are welcoming them as invited guests into your home and should keep in mind that the sensory issues are not a personal preference but rather a neurological condition. If this condition were physical and observable, perhaps one that required use of a wheelchair, would you make reasonable accommodations in your home, such as moving something out of the way of the wheelchair? This is a great opportunity to talk to your son about patience, empathy, and tolerance. In preparation for the play date you can have him gather the noisy toys to put away or help you put out appropriate toys for them to play with. Talk about being a good host and making your guests feel welcome and comfortable because you want them to come back for more visits. This will help prepare him for school and the real world ahead. You can ask your friend to explain what kinds of sensory stimulation he has problems processing and what kinds of accommodations would make the play date less stressful.

Recall 411

Q ~ Melissa in McKinney asks: Barb, I did not find out about the recent recall of the Zyrtec, Tylenol and Motrin until after I had given my son a week’s worth of each due to a high fever. I feel so guilty even though I know they said there were no serious injury reports. I also found out some toys that both kids play with had been recalled months ago. How can I stay more on top of recalls?
                      
Barb ~ News stations and print media do release many (not all) recalls, however, they are not always able to include the full details. By the time a magazine hits the stands it may be “old” news. Your best bet is to subscribe to an email update from the government’s Consumer Product Safety Commission. You can visit this site often or sign up for alerts. What I like about this comprehensive site is that you get the full story – why a product was recalled, what to do if you have the product, and you can file a report there as well.

Back Seat Rider

Q ~ Kim from Grand Prairie asks, What spot in the backseat is the safest place for an infant car seat? In the middle or on the ends?
                      
Barb ~ I contacted Britax USA, the pioneers and leaders of Car Seat Safety, for your answer: “The safest place for your child in any vehicle is in the back seat. The center of the rear seat is the furthest from a side impact. Check your child seat and vehicle user's guides for available seating positions. Also, a safe child seat is one that fits your child, fits your vehicle, and is the easiest for you to use each and every time.” If you have twins or more than one child, the middle position can be a hard decision to make but do not feel guilty. As long as you have the car seats installed correctly and use them correctly, you will have already done everything you can to protect your child. Some great resource for more FAQ's: http://www.britaxusa.com/customer-service/faq/installation-questions; http://www.britaxusa.com/safety-center/car-seat-safety-reminders;  http://www.carseat.org/Resources/FAQs.htm; http://www.safekids.org/in-your-area/car-seat-check-up-events/; http://www.safekids.org/in-your-area/inspection-station/. 

Hot Tot

Q ~ Christina in Wylie asks: What is the best thermometer to use for kids? I want to get an accurate reading but my kids don’t do well holding it under their tongues so I want to try the ear or forehead one.
                      
Barb ~ The digital thermometer is the kind most used by hospitals. While it is easiest to use it orally, this may not be possible with younger children. While you can use it under the arm, you will get the most accurate reading rectally. The tympanic thermometer, used to measure body temperature by taking a reading in the ear, is quick but not always reliable. Many factors can contribute to false readings. In one study, parents using these thermometers failed to detect fever about one-quarter of the time. Tympanic readings should be considered with caution and against other factors. The Temporal Thermometer, usually scanned across the forehead, is the least accurate of the three. You can find reviews and more information on the Consumer Reports website.

Gray Wives Tale

Q ~ Andie in Plano asks: Barb, is it true that for every one gray hair you pull out two more grow back in its place?
                      
Barb ~ Nope, no more possible than your face freezing when you make an ugly expression. Hair turns gray when the pigment cells in its surrounding follicle die. But only one hair can grow per follicle. TIGI Expert Janice Binkley explains: “If you pull out a gray hair, a few things can or will happen. 1) The hair follicle may be damaged. Then the new growth (gray hair) can become unruly 2) The hair follicle may be so damaged it won't grow back at all or could become infected with a pimple like sore. Your best bet is to color (tint/ highlight) the hair, or embrace your gray locks.”

Late Nights

Q ~ Karen in Dallas asks: Barb, My 8 year old daughter has been getting into watching televised sports with her dad. I think it is great but he lets her stay up sometimes to watch late games. I think she uses it as an excuse to stay up. I have to deal with her attitude the next day if she does not get enough rest so I think her sleep is more important and she should stick to her bedtime. My husband says I need to let her grow up and stay up and that this is their bonding experience. What do you think?
                      
Barb ~ I think there has to be a balance that the three of you can agree to. I suggest the three of you discuss the issues together and try different options to find one that works for your family. It is a great bonding experience for dad and daughter, but it is important to keep a routine, especially during the school year. Ask her what she enjoys most about the experience. Giving her the opportunity to problem solve sends her the message that you want her to have more responsibility. Agree on a reasonable amount of time to allow her to stay up and communicate your expectations with regard to her behavior. Perhaps she could plan on taking a rest the following day, or they could record the game and finish it the following morning.

Pick a Winner

Q ~ Paula in Garland asks: Barb, My two year old won’t keep his finger out of his nose. He just sticks it in and leaves it there. Help!  
                    
Barb ~ Did you know your nose and sinuses make about a quart of snot every day? Snot, or mucus, protects your lungs as you breathe by trapping things like dirt, pollen, dust and germs before they make their way to your lungs. When mucus clumps around the dirt, dust, or pollen you are left with a booger. Your child may be trying to remove his by picking his nose. If your child has allergies then the constant flow of mucus may give him a feeling that something is always there. You may want to bring it up to your pediatrician. Sometimes children pick their nose simply because it is there. The habit not only helps spread germs, but picking can lead to infections when fingernails scratch the inside of the nostrils. This sometimes leads to a cycle as the infection causes crusting which leads to more picking. The most common cause of nosebleeds is nose picking. You don’t want to give this habit too much attention, but you can discourage it. If you suspect your child is doing it out of boredom or because “it’s there” then try to distract him when you see him doing it. Give his hands something else to do, ask him to help you with something. If you think he is trying to clear his nose, then hand him a tissue every time. Explain that it is yucky to use his fingers because of the germs. Again, talk to your pediatrician if you suspect allergies or another cause of excessive mucus. Do not nag or make a big deal out of it, do not punish or try to embarrass him. Remember that this age brings on power struggles.

A Speggtacular Hunt

Q ~ Jorge in Grand Prairie asks: Barb, I have twin 7 year olds and really want to do something different for their Easter egg hunt at home. I am tired of the junk filling that just gets thrown away. Any suggestions for different things to fill them with?       
              
Barb ~ I agree. Candy and trinkets can add up to wasteful junk. Think about their personalities and what they really want. If you think that they may want a bigger toy, you can fill the eggs with clues that lead to this hidden gift. If they are trying to save up for something consider filling them with money. If they enjoy going to places like Chuck E Cheese you can fill them up with tokens, or tickets to an attraction. You can fill them with IOU’s for a trip to the movies, a book, 15 extra minutes of games or TV or a homework pass, etc. Look for healthier snacks to fill them with. Forget the traditional fillings and think about their interests and you can find a creative way to incorporate them into the egg hunt. Good Luck!

Ear Muffs

Q ~ Lyndi in Garland asks: Barb, Every now and then when I am at the grocery store checking out, the checker and the bagger are having a personal conversation. I get irritated having to listen to them, but lately I have noticed that they don’t even try to censor it when my kids are around. Yesterday I was pretty sure I heard a curse word from one of them and I had my daughter with me. I don’t want to be “that kind of mom” but I don’t want my kids to hear it. Should I say something to them?       
              
Barb ~ Kids or no kids, it’s unprofessional. I would call the store manager and let them know. You do not have to name names if you are not comfortable doing that but explain that it has happened a few times. They can address it with the staff as a group and establish a policy that they can enforce.

Mean Green

Q ~ Jessica in Dallas asks: Barb, My kids have been worrying about getting pinched on St. Patty’s day for two weeks and have been gathering everything green to wear on the holiday. Where did this tradition come from?       
              
Barb ~ There are a few explanations for this tradition floating around. No doubt one of them leads to over-consumption of green beer. The main theory seems to date back to the 1700’s in the Massachusetts colony. The belief was that wearing green made you invisible to the Leprechauns who were out to pinch anyone they could see. The pinching served as a warning to look out for the Leprechauns. …or the green beer led to a very physical drinking game.

Nasal Aspirators that really Suck

Q ~ Erin in Mesquite asks: Barb, what do you think of those automatic nasal aspirators? I have seen mixed reviews but I do not have much luck with the bulb anymore.       
              
Barb ~ Battery-powered nasal aspirators quickly suck excess mucus out of your nose. While the noise can be off-putting to a younger child, it really does the job and does it quickly. I first ran out and got one when my then 4 month old baby had a respiratory infection and I just could not hold her down and use the traditional bulb effectively. My then 4 year old began to use it when he was sick. He loved the relief it brought him. But I never knew the effectiveness of them until I got a nasty sinus infection. The kind where you can’t stop blowing your nose, even though your nose is all chapped and sore, and your head and ears hurt from all the pressure. It really helped, and by having to use it on myself, I learned the most effective positions and movements to maximize the suction. They can run down batteries quickly and you will notice loss of suction power. But if you keep fresh batteries in and learn how to use it, you will love it.

Party Protocol

Q ~ Karen in Mansfield asks: Barb, How long before a child’s birthday party should I send out invitations?      
              
Barb ~ Your guests should generally receive birthday party invitations one month to three weeks in advance. Make sure to consider any party logistics though. For example, if you are renting a venue and need to have your headcount confirmed a week in advance, then make sure the invitations arrive in time to allow parents at least two weeks to make their plans and RSVP to you. While you may worry that an invitation gets lost or forgotten if sent too early, remember that families are busier than ever these days. Mail does not get opened daily, and parents may need time to arrange schedules, find care for siblings, and shop for a gift.

Market-ing Friendly Products
 
Q ~ Sylvia in Dallas asks: Barb, I thought all children's paints were nontoxic. What's the difference between traditional kid's paint and the new eco-friendly "safe" paints?      
              
Barb ~ As the consumer and the parent, you need to check every label of every paint you buy to make sure it is indeed non-toxic. Non-toxic means that a reasonable amount of a substance will not, under reasonable circumstances, cause damage to an exposed organism. Children’s ibuprofen will not likely hurt an otherwise healthy child if taken as directed, but you would not hand the child an open bottle of it and walk away. Eco-friendly, green, or environmentally friendly are used to refer to products that inflict minimal damage to the environment. For example, if flushed into bodies of water, they will not gas-off the fish that live in it. Does Green mean Non-toxic? Would you eat recycled cardboard?

Rodent Reporters

Q ~ Lorraine in Grand Prairie asks: Barb, why is Groundhog Day a holiday? Is there actually any truth to it?      
              
Barb ~ The February 2nd Holiday Groundhog Day is celebrated in the United States and Canada. According to the tradition, if a groundhog sees its shadow on this day and returns to its burrow, we will experience 6 more weeks of winter. If not, then we will have an early spring. To sum it up, if it is cloudy on Feb 2, spring is springing soon, if it is sunny on this day of reckoning, winter wins. So you may ask how the rodent got involved in the first place, when the common 2-legged creature can just peek outside his window and draw the conclusion. Though the roots of the folklore go back centuries to the ancient Celtic festival of Imbolc, Groundhog Day as we know it was born around 1887 in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania by inventive minds at the Punxsutawney Spirit newspaper, which repeatedly ran embellished stories about the tradition. Now, crowds of 30,000-40,000 gather in the city to witness the famous whiskered weather-rat known as Punxsutawney Phil. There are other notable furry forecasters in other cities: Buckeye Chuck, Staten Island Chuck, Wiarton Willie in Ontario, General Beauregard Lee in Atlanta, and Shubenacadie Sam. How reliable are the furry forecasts? An NCDC (National Climatic Data Center) analysis shows Punxsutawney Phil's success rate at 39%. Here are some more fun facts: Groundhogs do not like being disturbed. They have a very loud reaction including whistling, squealing, barking, chattering and grinding their teeth. PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) love the folklore, but accuse officials of subjecting Phil to the large and load crowds. PETA is suggesting the use of an animatronic model – a robot groundhog. William Deeley, president of the Inner Circle of the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club, says the animal is "being treated better than the average child in Pennsylvania."

Pain in the *Ear

Q ~ Brandy in Frisco asks: Please help my ears! My 2-year old loves to scream at the top of his lungs because it's fun. It truly does hurt my ears and those around me. How do I get him to stop? I've told him it hurts and he'll stop, but he never remembers.                     
Barb ~ I contacted the experts at Children's Medical Center Dallas and thank Crista Wetherington, Ph.D., from the Center for Pediatric Psychiatry for the answer: Kids love attention from their parents, even when it's negative. Your son is exploring his environment and trying to understand how others respond to his actions. Two-year-olds cannot take someone else's perspective very well, so explaining that the screaming hurts your ears may not be very useful for stopping the screaming. Start by paying attention to the positive things your child does-any behaviors you'd like to see increase. For example, when your son is playing quietly, or runs over to give you a hug, be sure to give attention for these things, whether by saying something out loud or stopping what you are doing to play with him and make time for that hug. When he begins screaming, ignore him and use time out if needed. Focusing on the positive will decrease the negative, so start there and you will find that you are both happier!

Discourteous in Carpool

Q ~ Barb, I was so irritated in the second grade carpool line this morning as one mom, with a scant few minutes left before classes began, pulls up to the front, gets out, opens the door and fixes her daughter’s hair by brushing and putting in a ponytail! There were at least six cars waiting, including me. I wanted badly to honk but am a new parent and did not want to draw attention to myself, especially if this ended up being someone like the wife of a board member or something. I could see the other drivers were annoyed but no one did anything, and now I am mad for not having done or said something myself because she will probably do it again. Am I over-reacting or should I have honked?                     

Barb ~ Holding up the carpool line to fix your daughters hair is indeed rude and insensitive. I think it made you even more irritated since you were already close to being late. But, I would let this incident go. I am sure there has been a time when you were running late or not quite awake or for whatever reason just not focused and made a poor decision. You don’t want to be judged on that temporary lapse in judgment, or honked at impatiently. Try to be empathetic and give her the benefit of the doubt. Remember that your children are watching and you are setting an example with everything you do. This is an opportunity to display patience and empathy, rather than judgment. If you see a pattern with this mom and it becomes clear she is being selfish and intentionally disregarding the other parents, then you should take action. Either let her know (without a crowd or audience) that her behavior is imposing on others, or speak with an administrator and ask them to address it with her.

Pull-ups vs. Diapers

Q ~ Jessica in Alvarado asks: is there any benefit to using pull-ups over diapers at night? My 4 1/2 year old had 2 accidents last night. It makes me tired. We have even cut his nighttime drinking to try to help. My water bill is going to go up at this rate! We have tons of diapers but would be willing to buy pull-ups if there is an advantage.                     

Barb ~ Hi Jessica, Most pediatricians do not expect a child to stay dry at night until the age of 5 or 6. I recommend making the move to pull-ups at night. First, it will give him the freedom to go by himself should he wake with the need to go. Having him in diapers may send confusing or mixed signals to him. A diaper is something you control while a pull-up is something he controls, and part of successful potty training involves the child taking control of their potty time. You could consider donating the diapers to a shelter or church or friend. A friend gave me one of the best parenting tips I know: For nighttime accidents, in cribs or beds, layer your mattress pads and sheets, so that you only have to strip a layer off each time rather than change the entire bed at night

Stinky Feet

Q ~ Billie in Carrollton asks, Barb, my kids are only 7 and 10 but their shoes are really stinky. What can I do to get rid of the odor without spraying chemicals on them and can I prevent them from getting like this?                     

Barb ~ Those stinky odors are bacteria, living things that keep festering and growing stronger until you end their miserable life. They live off the moisture from accumulated sweat and body oils. To get rid of the stink you have to get rid of the bacteria, and continue to keep moisture from accumulating. You want to avoid harmful chemicals, a good idea, and have a few options. Traditional remedies include misting with a vinegar and water or rubbing alcohol and water blend. I’m not a fan of this as they both have skin-drying properties. Did you know that deep-freezing kills bacteria? If you do not want to use an anti-fungal or anti-bacteria spray, pop them in a deep-freezer for at least a few hours. To keep them dry, you have a few options again. Dusting them with baking soda is great, but it does build up and get gooey when feet sweat and can become cumbersome. I recommend a charcoal product. The most convenient – and most effective I have found is made by Ever Bamboo. A 100% natural product, bamboo charcoal is a deodorizer and dehumidifier. Ever Bamboo has many conveniently shaped deodorizers, including Shoe Deodorizers. When my son takes his shoes off, he places these inside. We have been able to easily and affordably keep the stink from coming back with these. I highly recommend them.

Daycare, Preschool or Moms Day Out?

Q ~ Leigh in Dallas asks: Barb, have you ever made your own ice cream? I have found some recipes that look like fun for the kids to make but I am afraid of the mess and waste.

Barb ~ MetroMom March Baremore, winner of the Ice Cream Contest at the Sate Fair, wrote to let us know she has the perfect answer: I love making homemade ice cream with my kids. It can be really easy and inexpensive even if you don't have an ice cream maker at home. One way to do that is in plastic sandwich bags. 1. ICE CREAM IN A BAGGIE: Put in a sandwich-size Zip-Loc bag and "zip" closed: 1 T sugar, 1/2 cup milk or half & half, 1/4 tsp vanilla. Put in a gallon-size Zip-Loc bag and zip closed: 2 T rock salt (baking aisle), the filled and zipped sandwich bag from above, ice cubes to fill bag about 3/4 full. Shake and roll bag over and over until frozen (about 15-20 min.) 2. ICE CREAM IN A COFFEE CAN: Chocolate Ice Cream 1 cup heavy cream 1 cup light cream 1/2 cup sugar 4 T cocoa 1/2 tsp vanilla extract 1/8 tsp salt Coffee Ice cream 1 cup heavy cream 1 cup light cream 2 T instant coffee granules 1/2 cup sugar 1/8 tsp salt For all varieties: In 1 lb. coffee can mix all ingredients. Seal can lid well with duct tape. Put small, sealed can inside larger 3 lb. can. Pack ice and 1 cup salt around small can. Put lid on large can and duct tape closed. Roll back & forth on a large towel (optional) for 15 minutes. Open large can and dump ice and water. Wipe small can dry and open. Stir mix, scraping sides of can. Additional ingredients (cookie crumbs, chopped nuts) can be added now. Reseal small can and place back in larger can. Repack with salt and ice. Continue rolling for 10 minutes more. Open large can and dump ice and water. Wipe small can dry and open. Enjoy! Neither of these methods involves churning so if you are expecting the really smooth creamy texture of a store bought ice cream you might want to go with an ice cream maker.

Breaking The Chain Mail

Q ~ Maricole in Fort Worth asks: Barb, my friend is always sending me ridiculous chain emails. How do these things start? 

Barb ~ It is hard to say who starts these things, though some may be intentional; others have origins in legitimate happenings. Perhaps a Hype-chondriac takes a few legitimate facts and runs with them. You may have seen the email warning us that telemarketers will have our cell numbers. This may have originated from the fact that a cell phone directory is being created for 411 uses (do not panic, you have to opt in to be included). Another recent email chain warns of the dangers of energy-saving light bulbs, suggesting that they have dangerous amounts of mercury that are released into the air, and it would cost thousands to have a hazmat crew clean up in the case one of these bulbs breaks in your home. This story snowballed out of control after a CFL bulb broke in one mother’s home. She called her local DEP agency, which did not have much experience in this, and was told having a cleanup crew come in was one option (the agency later admits this option was excessive).  The chain emails usually relate to Charity, Luck, Petition, Money, or just for the heck of setting a word record. The first probably originated in superstition and dates back to the 1800’s. You can see a wonderful study of the evolution of Chain Letters.

Receiving these from a friend is almost worst than receiving them from a stranger because you can at least block the stranger from further impositions on your time.  But don’t be gullible or afraid, you can safely delete these emails. You probably won’t break the chain and stop them from circulating, but you can be sure that AOL and Bill Gates are not tracking what you do, even if someone wrote, “I got a check” or “I saw it on CNN”.  Similarly, if it came from somebody’s good friend who is a lawyer or a preacher, it is bogus as well. The Nigerian son of a prince in Switzerland does not have $27 billion that they need to trust you with, and we can not cripple a gas company by not buying gas next Wednesday. Nobody is going to send you on a fabulous getaway, give you cars or televisions, or fat checks just because you forward an email. But if I see any of that reported on CNN, I will gladly retract.

Dinner Time Chaos

Q ~ Jennifer in Mesquite asks: Barb, My almost two year old has to be watched during all his waking hours. I pick him up on my way home from work but can barely make dinner without having to chase after him 100 times or keep him from getting hurt. It's been frozen entrees, salads or sandwiches for a while now. How can I make a real dinner and save him from himself at the same time?

Barb ~ I can certainly relate! I think your biggest challenge is keeping him interested in one project for any length of time. I can offer a few tips to try and hope that a few may work on your curious toddler. Your main goal is to keep him where you can see him. I am a big fan of baby gates. I have one in the kitchen and use it to keep the kids near as much as I use it to keep them away. If you can, involve him in what you are doing. Let him prepare something with his own ingredients; give him some dough to play with, a mixing bowl and some dry ingredients for him to "prepare." At this age my son loved water so I would fill up some measuring cups with water and food coloring and let him mix colors in some bowls. I also let him fill up the kitchen sink with some bubbles or his sea animals, or even just some measuring cups, spoons and funnels. I dedicated one shelf for toys he could play with such as plastic bowls, measuring cups, toy food, empty food containers for him to pretend play with, anything safe. He loved to scoop, so I often kept dry rice, beans, and different shaped pastas for him to sort into ice cube trays, scoop, mix, measure or funnel. Another favorite was magnets on the fridge or dishwasher. Leap Frog makes some wonderful activity games for this age that are perfect for the fridge. You can also buy magnetic sheets for your printer so you can customize a game, puzzle or activity for your son.

Product Review: Sit n Stroll

Q ~ Myha in Arlington asks: Hello, Barb! My husband and I are taking our baby (who will be 16 months) to Hawaii in August. I'm just wondering what you think about the sit'n'stroll car seat/stroller combo. I just love his regular stroller and am so used to it, but the last time we traveled, he had the carrier that you could just drop on the stroller. Now he's in a convertible car seat and I dread bring the convertible (unmatching) car seat and a stroller. Any suggestions?

Barb ~ MetroMom & expert Summer Holbrook has the answer for you! Here's Summer: Dear Myha, I am a seven-year flight attendant for a major American carrier and in that time I have seen just about every kind of seating arrangement for children and babies. The one that most amazes me is the Sit n Stroll. I always knew that I would buy the Sit n Stroll when I had a child, after seeing the ease with which other moms used it. Once my daughter was old enough for the convertible car seat, we tried to travel with that and an umbrella stroller. Bad idea- the car seat was too heavy, and with all the other luggage we had, it proved to be too much to handle. And it was too large to fit in the airplane seat. It was during that trip when I told my husband that I was buying the Sit n Stroll. My daughter and I just got back from the UK with our new Sit n Stroll. I cannot begin to tell you how much easier it was to travel with. The Sit n Stroll is light, easy to get through airport security, combines the necessary elements of a full size car seat with a basic stroller and it's safe, FAA safe. One limitation of the Sit n Stroll is the flexibility of the stroller function. The Sit n Stroll is low to the ground and not designed for off road use. Therefore, in a beach and nature trail heavy vacation spot like Hawaii, the Sit n Stroll could come up short. But for a vacation like Hawaii I suggest bringing a frame baby carrier. With all the trails and beaches the carrier is what you will end up using. However, in an airport or urban environment, no other product comes close. If your baby is not yet walking, place her/him in the Sit n Stroll as soon as you get out of your car at the airport parking lot. The baby should not have to come out of the sit n stroll until you get to security. This frees up your arms for other things, like bags. I recommend that in addition to the Sit and Stroll you also take an umbrella stroller, for off road adventures or for long days out where you will not be traveling in a car. As for the security line, it takes about 10 seconds or less to fold the Sit n Stroll. Place it upside down on the security belt, so it will fit thought the machine better. The Sit n Stroll will fit down the aisle of first class but not coach. Also, I recommend asking the flight attendant for a seat belt extension for your car seat, it makes it fit easer. The Sit n Stroll comes with LATCH system belts and this comes in very handy for longer car trips. The Sit n Stroll also fits in the car by using the seat belt; this is great for taxi rides or cars without LATCH systems. When you get to the restaurant the Sit n Stroll becomes a booster chair, which is great for places without highchairs. Myha, in closing, I highly recommend the Sit n Stroll for any vacation involving air travel and involving a child 5 to 40 lbs. However, I would also recommend you pack a frame baby carrier for your trip for use on the beaches and any other off-road adventures. Fly smart, fly safe and have fun! Summer Holbrook Flight Attendant, Southwest Airlines World wide explorer

Gas (Prices) Relief

Q ~ Julie in Denton asks: Barb, Just when I think gas prices can't get any higher, they go up again! Is there any relief in sight and any possible way to save some money on gas?

Barb ~ Gas prices are not projected to decrease significantly any time soon. There are definite ways to improve your gas mileage and make each fill up last longer. Try these tips and you will see an immediate difference. -Stay in shape. Keep your car well maintained and make sure your tires are properly inflated. A car that has to work harder burns more gas. Using good engine oil can improve mileage by as much as 12%. A clogged air filter can decrease your mileage by up to 10%. -Don't speed. You can assume that each 5 mph you drive over 60 mph is like paying an additional $0.20 per gallon for gas. The best way to improve fuel economy by as much as 2 to 3 miles per gallon is to accelerate slowly and to brake over a longer distance. Don't rest your foot on the pedal, try coasting when possible. -Get rid of the weight. Those bags of old baby things that you have been meaning to drop off are reducing your mileage by up to 2%. Also remove luggage racks and heavy accessories. -Avoid excessive idling; you get 0 miles per gallon while idling. Place your car in neutral, park or even turn it off if you are idling more than a few minutes. - Avoid stop and go traffic when possible. -Use cruise control on the highway to help you maintain a constant speed. - Plan and consolidate your travels. - Don't go out of your way to save a few pennies on gas. If you go a couple of miles out of your way to save 5 cents per gallon, on a 10 gallon fill up you save 50 cents. The American Automobile Association says that, on average, it costs 52.2 cents to drive one mile. - Don't top off your tank and be sure your gas cap is tight.

Don't Bug Me

Q ~ Anonymous asks: I have a ten year old and a two year old and am worried about mosquitoes. Is there one repellent that I can use on both of them, one that is safer than the other or most effective?

Barb ~ It would be very difficult for me to recommend one product as each product works differently. Things to consider in choosing a good repellent is the setting in which it will be used (dinner on the patio or hike in the woods); the individual using it, including how much they perspire; and personal preferences. A common ingredient in repellents, the Chemical DEET is the most effective, safe when used as directed and has been studied the longest - over 60 years. Concentrations are directly related to how often you need to reapply. However it does need to be washed off when you come indoors and can ruin some clothing and other materials. There are some synthetic alternatives that are as effective but may not work for everyone. There are also some repellents made from natural ingredients that feel better on the skin, and smell better but are only effective for short periods of time. To complicate your decision further, the American Academy of Pediatrics, CDC, and World Health Organization all make different recommendations. You will need to make the choice that is best for you. I highly recommend reading Consumer Research's Insect Repellent Consumer Report. This report breaks down the different types of repellents, which settings they are best used in, and reviews the brands making them. You may have to purchase more than one repellant this summer. Keep in mind you should use what works in each situation - you do not need the "Deep Woods" concentration if you are only playing on the lawn, but you do need to use the minimum recommendation.

Picky Eater

Q ~ Teena in Mansfield asks: Any ideas to get a picky eater to eat fruits and vegetables? All my little one eats is crackers, chicken nuggets, pizza, and pasta. Thanks!

Barb ~ The overwhelming majority of parenting resources will advise you to keep offering foods and one day your child will surprise you and try something new. I agree, as it is never worth it to get into a struggle over food. As an added measure, I also recommend trickery to bridge the nutritional gap. Let's face it, the kid needs nutrition to grow and think. My most covert method is to blend in some green stuff into your pasta sauce or yellow and orange stuff into your mac and cheese sauce - carrots and butternut squash go completely undetected. Cube some up and keep a bag in the freezer so you can throw into the water used for cooking then mash it up with a fork. Grate zucchini over pasta or pizza, other grated veggies work great in the breading of those nuggets. Mash some fruits into a PB&J, the jelly hides everything! Make it fun! Give your food a face - there are some great cookbooks for kids that show you how to jazz things up. Sprinkle cinnamon onto fresh fruits. Use bowls for dipping sauces and offer veggie sticks for dipping. Set an example by eating these things yourself. Encourage your child, but do not push. Try to empathize; there must be some things that you do not like and would not appreciate being made to eat. Finally, on behalf of all picky eaters out there, I plead with you to not make too big a deal out of it. If your children can find one fruit and one veggie that they like, they will be okay, and they will still make it into adulthood.

Hands-Free But No Aching Back

Q ~ Aching Back in Dallas asks: Can you recommend a good carrier for a large 10 month old? What are the pros and cons of the different kinds? I need to truly keep hands free but have been carrying my baby around for hours each day. Thanks!

Barb ~ You have three basic options when shopping for a child carrier: The Sling, a Backpack, and a Hip Carrier. The sling that worked so well for your infant can be used to carry an older child in a variety of positions. Great for light use, they are easy to wash and wear, come in a gazillion colors and patterns, but generally lack lumbar support and only have minor adjustment capabilities. Backpack carriers are great for medium to heavy use. They have many comfort features for passenger and chauffeur, lots of storage pockets and many adjustments so mom and dad can both use it. It is great for a hike or a walk, but I would not recommend for every day indoor use simply because it limits eye contact and smooch-accessibility. Hip Carriers keep your child by your side, where you would normally carry them. They are a great upgrade from the front carriers, and some brands can hold children up to 35 pounds. These are my favorite as they allow me to be truly hands free, but keep my baby snuggled by my side, where she can share smiles, hugs and what I believe are practice kisses. This is what I recommend for you since you are using it for extended periods indoors. The most amazing hip carrier I have used to date is the PortaMEe. The Mercedes of carriers, this is the ultimate combination of convenience, function, comfort and fashion. It is very easy to put on, and not only keeps your offspring close to you, but your keys, wallet, phone, sunglasses, mp3 player, camera and even a bottle or sippy cup (the bottle holder is insulated)! It's like Batman's utility belt! Comfort features include a gel padded shoulder strap and orthopedic lumbar support. Now that I have finally lost most of the baby weight and can fit in my cute clothes again, I want a "hip" hip carrier and the PortaMEe is a fashion statement with its leather trim, warm colors and plush fabric. We spoke with the nice people of PortaMEe and they generously offered Metroplex Baby Savings Card Holders $20 off the purchase of a PortaMEe carrier

Mama Juggling Act

Q ~ Anonymous asks: How does one juggle the responsibilities of work, marriage and motherhood? I'm working full time, and I feel overwhelmed, spread thin and down right exhausted.

Barb ~ I once heard someone say that you can have a family and a career; you just can't have them at the same time. Pretty unreasonable considering many of us do not have a choice. We have heard this question numerous times and as working moms ourselves, sought out an answer by hosting a MetroMoms event this past winter about Balancing Work and Motherhood. It is there that I learned wonderful advice from our speaker, Dr. Lawana Gladney. Here are some excerpts from Dr. Lawana Gladney's book "You Can't Be Sick I Have to Work: 50 Tips to Emotional Wellness for Working Mothers." (copyrighted, Dr. Lawana S. Gladney 2007). Lose the Guilt: This emotion alone can weigh you down. It is like an invisible weight that tugs at your heart. Understand that guilt comes along with being a mother. We can't be everywhere, do it all, and control all situations. Organize Your Day: There is something to be said for organization. Things that are organized can flow more naturally and save a tremendous amount of time. Know what things that you have scheduled at work and home so that you won't find yourself being overwhelmed by time eaters. Set Your Boundaries: It is important that you let your manager, boss, co-workers know what your boundaries are. Your boundaries should be clearly established so that others know what you can and cannot do. Have the courage to stay within your set boundaries and say no. Prioritize your life: If you were asked to name the top three things that are important to you, I would be willing to assure you that family would be number 1 or number 2 on the list. If that is the case, just how much time are you spending on your family or your other top priorities? It is likely that your time is not aligned with your priorities. Learn how to conscientiously allot time to the things that are of the greatest value to you and make you the happiest. Want more great tips? Visit renowned speaker and author Dr. Lawana Gladney's website www.emotionalwellnessinc.com.

Scratch & Hit

Q ~ Mary in Grand Prairie asks: My 13 month old son has recently started scratching and hitting people when he doesn't get his way. I try not to let him and tell him no in a strong voice. He however ignores me and does as he pleases. How do I teach him not to be so mean?

Barb ~ This common misbehavior is displayed when words don't come easily and hitting may seem like the only way preverbal children can express their frustrations. But this does not mean your child is a bully, or that you are a bad parent. It is simply a form of communication. I recommend reading "THE HAPPIEST TODDLER ON THE BLOCK" by Dr. Harvey Karp. A quick read, it explains how this behavior is normal, and once you understand why it is happening, it becomes very simple to put an end to it. Until you get to a bookstore, here are some tips to deal with the hitting and scratching: 1) Communicate. Let your child know that you understand how he is feeling but this is not appropriate behavior. The word "no" alone is not enough because it loses meaning. Say "no hit," or "soft touch" and show a soft touch. 2) Redirect. Find something to redirect attention to, something to help him communicate better or to distract him from the frustration. Or remove him from the situation. 3) Be Calm. An over-reaction may be amusing to your son, enough so that he will try to solicit the reaction again. Reprimand in a firm voice but do not try to punish. 4) Praise. Reward your son when you catch him being nice; praise him for the positive behaviors.

Kiddie Haircuts

Q ~ Sarah in Dallas asks: Hi, Barb! Can you recommend a good place to get my baby's hair cut? I was recently out of town and took my baby for his first haircut then, but now that I'm home, I need to find a place here that doesn't cost an arm and a leg and that caters to children.

Barb ~ Places that cater to children are wonderful for the nervous tot. They typically have videos, games, and fun chairs for the children to keep them distracted while getting their hair cut. They usually accept walk-ins, but I recommend making a reservation or going during an off-peak time (during school hours) to avoid long waits. A haircut can cost between $12-15, with an optional shampoo adding a couple of bucks to the bill. They are all pretty competitive in price. Some, such as Cool Cuts 4 Kids, offer a frequent user club card that allows you to rack up discounts after repeat visits. Savings Tip: We like Kids B Kids with locations in Dallas and Plano. Your first haircut is $10.99. Regular cuts are $14, with an additional $2 for shampoos. Kids B Kids offers $3 off each haircut (excluding bang trims) when you present the Metroplex Baby Savings Card! Once your child is comfortable with haircuts, ask your hairdresser if they can do your child's cut with yours. Many charge about $10-15, plus you save on gas and time spent traveling to two places.

An Aspirator For All

Q ~ Carla in Arlington asks: I'm a first-time mom and really freaked by the bulb aspirator that the hospital gave us. It looks like it would hurt my baby. What do you think, and can you recommend anything else?

Barb ~ I am so glad you asked this Carla, because I recently had a conversation with one of our MetroMoms about aspirators! I like the Bebe Sounds nasal aspirator, but it did not work for MetroMom Carey (mother of twins), who recommends the Nosefrida. Here's what Carey has to say about the Nosefrida - "Well, it is probably the grossest thing you will ever do, but it works amazingly. As everyone knows the bulbs can sometimes be hard to use with babies as you have to keep on squeezing to get everything out. With the nosefrida, you basically "suck" the snot right out. Gross.. I know. But you can control how much pressure you use to suction and you don't have to worry about stabbing them with the end of the bulb. the nosefrida has a rounded edge that you don't really have to stick in their nose, just in the front part (of course it actually won't go in any further anyway). It works like a little vacuum to get the mucus out. note: you do need to add saline as well as turn the tube around their nostril till you hear the vacuuming sound as you suck. For those of you who are still grossed out, let me tell you that there is a filter in the unit so you can't get the mucus in your mouth. Also, after you pull the first big glob of gook out of your childs nose with one large suck instead of 7 or 8 with the bulb you will be sold. I just finished a cold with my daughter and it went much easier for her as I could keep her relatively clean. In fact, the only time she had a problem was when my husband had to clean her nose and he tried to use the bulb instead. And please understand, your baby will probably cry. After all it is an invasion to her little nose. But afterwards, when they take that clean breath and smile at you. it's worth it. It also draws lots of fun attention when you use it in public :-) There are some instances when the nosefrida isn't the best choice so I still have my bulbs handy (when it is dried and on the front of the nose), but for most situations (best ones are those gooey ones) it is the absolute best product. I actually have 2 so I don't have to go and find one."

"Friends" Who Won't Discipline Chapter Two

Q ~ Anonymous in Frisco asks: Hi Barb! I have a girlfriend that I simply adore. Sometimes we exchange kiddos to let them play and give each of us a much needed break since we are both stay at home Moms. The problem is when her daughter is at my house she doesn't follow our rules. (The offending actions are usually slamming doors in people's faces, screaming, kicking, etc.) When I correct her she just looks at me and does it again. I don't feel comfortable putting someone else's child in time out. I usually tell her if she keeps acting like that I will have to call her Mom and send her home. What is the correct way to handle this?

Barb ~ In the past I have confronted a Mom friend about her child who was aggressively hurting my child. Unfortunately she took her child's side and our friendship has been strained ever since. Since I love this other Mom friend so much I feel like I need to address the problem with her daughter while she is at my house. Any advice? Barb says: You are right to be so cautious- protective mamas can be prejudiced. Unfortunately, they are not doing their children any favors or helping them prepare for the school environment, where they will have to follow rules and be held accountable. I fear that if you only address the problem with the child then mom friend will get upset that you disciplined her child. I suggest you try to handle this as objectively as possible with mom friend first. You could try saying "I am sure we have some different household rules and I do expect my child to respect yours. Would you like to agree on ways we can establish respect for each other's rules?" Or, "the kids will undoubtedly misbehave at one point or another, let's set some boundaries we can both feel comfortable with." Let her know you would then like for the both of you to sit with the kids all together and explain to them the rules, expectations, and consequences. I am sure you both want the arrangement to work so you each can get a much-needed break. Relying on each other was a resourceful strategy. All plans can be fine-tuned and improved on. My hope is that you are able to come across as wanting to make the arrangement as easy on each other as possible.

Toddler Gravity Test

Q ~ Lauren in Grand Prairie asks: My 9 month old keeps throwing things out of his stroller or highchair and I am tired of picking them up, cleaning them off and handing them back just to see him throw them again. My husband says he is testing the laws of physics and I know he is too young to discipline or understand. Any suggestions on sparing me this trouble?

Barb ~ Your husband is correct. Your child is actually conducting scientific experiments. He wants to be able to predict with 100% accuracy what will happen with each thing he drops. How high will it bounce? How far will it roll? How funny is mommy's reaction? I can understand that it does become exhausting for you though and your question gave me reason to test a product I first saw a year ago at Everything Babyfest. It is called the Take-Along Tether and was invented by a mom. One end secures the cup, bottle or other item while the other end attaches to the highchair, stroller, shopping cart, or car seat. It is brilliant. Imagine a bungee. Your son can still see "what happens if," yet the item never hits the ground. And mommy's reaction is much more pleasant! Savings Tip: Parent Pardners offers a discount to Metroplex Baby Savings Card holders when you purchase two Take-Along Tethers.

Annoying Godmother

Q ~ Sophia in Dallas asks: My son's godmother constantly updates me on her social schedule - where she is going, with whom, and how busy she is. Frankly I couldn't care less. I ignore her constant emails but would love to tell her - in a nice way - to stop "updating me." Any suggestions on the best way to tell her to cut it out?

Barb ~ Sophia, You say with forthright that you could not care less and already ignore her emails, so she has not picked up on your non-verbal signs. If you find you cannot avoid spending time with her or being in the same space as her, then let her know that you feel the conversation always seems to turn to her social life and you would love the opportunity to discuss other topics with her. Try changing the topic and asking her how she feels about other things, like the last contestant to be kicked off the latest reality show.

Family-Friendly Outdoor Camping

Q ~ Robin in Coppell: We are going camping for the first time with our 5 year old. Can you recommend anything to make the experience family friendly?

Barb ~ The two most important comforts of camping for my family is where we sleep and where we "go." I'm not saying who, but there is at least one member of my family who has bathroom anxiety. Everything has to be just right before she can "go." Privacy, comfort, and convenience are essential, but not easy to come by while camping. Fortunately, I have found the perfect camping convenience, and we never have to go in a Port-A-Potty again. The PETT Toilet System is a portable potty that comes with or without a private shelter. It is lightweight and easy to set up. It utilizes a special drop-in bag that you dispose of so you avoid that special Port-A-Potty scent and it is easy to keep clean. Item: PETT Toilet System with Shelter Best Price Found: $239 with shelter; $76 without; but who can put a price on not having to use a Port-A-Potty? Purchased from: TRD Parts 4 U Savings Tip: Not just for camping, use toilet as a portable potty while potty training! I can't stand dirt tracked into my tent any more than I can stand sleeping on rocks under my tent! Solution: Kamp-Rite's Tent Cot. It's like a foam sleeping mat that is raised off the ground and has a tent cover. It weighs less than my stroller and is easier to open and set up - no pounding stakes into the ground, searching for the softest spot to set up, or dragging dirt in every time you need to get into your tent. It comes in two sizes for a single person or for a couple. Item: Kamp-Rite's Tent Cot Best Price Found: One-person: $169; Two-person: $269 Purchased from: TRD Parts 4 U

Product Review: Miracle Blanket

Q ~ Jennifer in Dallas: A speaker at your Destination event mentioned the Miracle Blanket. Have you tried it and what do you think?

Barb ~ Miracle Blankets Made A Believer Out Of Me And A Sleeping Angel Out Of My Baby! Here's the low-down: Item: The Miracle Blanket Cost: it's priceless but you can find it for $30 Purchased from: The Nesting Place Savings Tip: Metroplex Baby Savings Card holders holders receive 10% off I wish I had swaddled my first baby. It would have saved me from hours of crying. I was prepared with my second though, having practiced swaddling with a doll before the baby came. When the nurses first handed me my little bundle, I stared in amazement at how beautifully snug and tight they had swaddled her and had them show me their technique. Once I got her home, all it took was swaddling and she immediately settled in for hours of sleep. Luckily those nurses gave me two hospital blankets because she soon outgrew hers. After outgrowing the hospital ones, and the custom made extra large ones, sleep came no more. She would work her hands out, they would search for something to wrap around and would settle on her face. She would wake up screaming at the facial invasion. I tried tying a ribbon around her blanket to secure it. I tried three different "swaddlers." She was getting too strong and I was getting tired. I was pleading my case to Kay, nurse, educator, and owner of The Nesting Place, and she immediately told me about The Miracle Blanket. She even gave me a product demonstration and helped me practice until I felt comfortable using it. Guess what? (Cue the doves, bright light and trumpets) Baby slept all night again! This blanket really is nothing short of a miracle. Alas baby girl began rolling over and it was not safe to swaddle any longer. I gave the Miracle Blankets to a friend whose three month old was only happy if he was latched on to her and in her arms. I called her the next morning and was not surprised to hear her say, "The Miracle Blanket is a miracle!"

Green Potatoes

Q ~ Amy from Addison: Please answer this for my husband - what are the green spots that show up on potatoes and do they mean that a potato is bad??

Barb ~ The green is actually chlorophyll but its presence should serve as a warning that the tater is troubled. A nerve toxin, solanine, is produced in the green of the potato. It is actually the spuds natural defense system against insects. In large amounts, it can cause symptoms that range from headaches to paralysis of the central nervous system. An occasional greenish chip will not hurt you, but do not serve a potato if it has any green spots. Still, you would have to eat nearly 5 pounds before you would feel any effects.

Sick To School

Q ~ Sarah in Fort Worth asks: Today my daughter told me that her classmate's nose was so runny and gross that it made my daughter want to throw up. Why do parents send their kids to school when they are sick?

Barb ~ It is exasperating- parents who treat school as a private day care and leave an obviously sick child there to convenience themselves. Don't try to fake us out by drugging your child to mask the symptoms- the medicine wears off early enough to expose your plan, with every cough and sneeze propelling communicable microorganisms from the cesspool that is your child's nose. Most annoying is the parent who innocently exclaims "oh, it's just allergies," while wiping away avocado-green glow-in-the-dark snot off the child's face. Don't get me wrong, I am the first to send my child over to play with the chicken-poxed neighbor or the cousins with colds. Building up my son's immunity is part of my job. Resistance to infection develops only after exposure to a multitude of germs. But there are certain things I would rather you not send home to me or my infant. A cold lasts 7-10 days and the average child has 6-10 colds a year. I am not great at math, but that's a lot of missed school. So for the community-conscious parents who wonder when to keep kids home, I have spoken with my favorite doctor and dad of two. He advises to always keep a child home if she has any of the following: a fever of 101 or greater, has vomitted two or more times, diarrhea, coughing (coughing spreads infection), a spreading rash or is lethargic. When the child has been free of these for 24 hours, it is safe to send her back to school. So a little runny nose is not a big deal without any of the above symptoms. The most important thing you can do to prevent the spread of illness is teach your child proper hand washing, to cough into their sleeve, and to use a disposable tissue to wipe their nose.

HOV Baby

Q ~ Anonymous asks: If my infant and I are in the car together, can we drive in the HOV lane?

Barb ~ The answer is yes, you may utilize the HOV lane if you have an infant with you. There is no age restriction; however, you may not use it if the baby is still hitching a ride in your uterus. Commuters on average save one minute of travel time per mile of HOV lane. HOV lanes are designed for cars, buses & motorcycles with two or more persons. Their purpose is to encourage people who would normally drive in separate vehicles to drive in the same vehicle. Some may argue that the HOV rule should state "two or more passengers of driving age are eligible to use the lane," but they probably never rode in a car, during rush hour, with a sleepy, hungry, cranky, and poopy child.

Motivating Dad For Chores

Q ~ Carrie in Burleson asks: How can I get my husband to take more initiative in helping around the house? I always have to ask him to do stuff.

Barb ~ The most important thing to remember is that while women are raised to accept the emotional responsibility of providing care for others, men, traditionally, are not. For the most part, today's husband and father are much more sensitive to this gender paradox and are anxious to take equal part in taking care of home and family. For these balance-seeking men, the only "issue" may lie in clear communication on your part. You can gain some insight into your husband's expectations by looking at the role of his mother in the family. How did his parents share responsibilities? Is he willing to help when you ask him? Now for the big questions: Are you a control freak? Did you assume responsibility for these tasks yourself, thereby sending the message of "I got it, don't get up?" Do you allow him to help in his own way, appreciating that there is more than one way (specifically, your way) of doing things? Are there entire areas of responsibility that could be transferred to your husband, such as being responsible for emptying the dishwasher or getting the kids dressed for bed? I don't think I will be offending anyone by saying that men are not great at guessing what we are thinking. You need to let him know exactly what you need help with from the get-go. You can avoid having to ask him by assigning tasks that he will regularly be responsible for. This could be as easy as keeping a list on the refrigerator. For those of us with less than anxious helpers, a gentle reminder that the more time and energy you spend on doing all the work, the less time you have for him may help. If you still find yourself doing it all, perhaps you could just sacrifice some of your load, such as his laundry? Good luck!

Overbearing Mother

Q ~ Cassie in Bedford asks: I'm a new mom and need serious help dealing with my mother. I've been home from the hospital for two weeks. My mother drops by 4-5 times a day. She claims to be the authority on everything from feeding to sleep to temperament. I don't want to seem ungrateful. I know she's trying to help but how can I kindly explain that I need some space to bond with our baby and figure some things out on my own?

Barb ~ I think many new moms have probably found themselves in the presence of a mother or mother-in-law that is so highly self-regarded as a parenting authority, it is a shocker the entire medical community en mass neglects to award her with an honorary degree. They do mean well, of course, but things have changed and your parenting goals may differ from hers when she became a new parent. I would put it to her just like you did here. Let her know how much you appreciate her help but that you would really like some time alone to bond with the baby, and that would you like to develop your own routine. I can't promise it won't offend her or lead her to declare you as the most ungrateful selfish daughter that ever walked the earth, but I can promise that she will not stay mad long. She does after all, do everything out of her love for you.

Teething Relief

Q ~ Jenn in Frisco asks: Have you heard of anything to help with teething? My husband mentioned some kinds of drops or natural tablet. We have the teething rings and all that, and I've heard Orajel is pretty worthless since the saliva washes it right off....and my son is NOT a fan of the Orajel. Thanks!

Barb ~ *Edited to Add: Hyland’s Teething Tablets are the focus of an October 2010 recall. For more information please see: U.S. Food and Drug Administration today is warning consumers that Hyland's Teething Tablets may pose a risk to children

I would rather go through labor again than teething! As one children's dentist tells us, teething is teething and there is very little we can do. I don't want to scare new parents; some children do not seem bothered by teething. But for others, it can make them uncomfortable, cranky, and at times miserable. There are a few things that may temporarily relieve the pain. -Cold teething rings are popular. Make sure to inspect them for tears or breaks before each use. - Many Parents agree Hylands Teething tablets are wonderful but check with you pediatrician before giving baby any products. http://hylandsteething.com/. - Gentle Naturals teething drops also seem to be popular among parents: http://www.gentlenaturals.com/products/teething.cfm. Both sites have a store locator. -Tylenol helps but once baby is 6 months you get the okay to use Motrin which works better because it also reduces swelling. - There are many teethers on the market that offer a massaging texture for baby to chew on, one of our favorites, Raz-Berry is shaped like a pacifier and offers more massaging surface area: http://razbaby.com/. You can also try freezing a damp washcloth for him to chew on, or giving him a clean finger to bite on. My son loved small ice chips and they instantly calmed him. But please, no Jack Daniels - no matter how many times you hear "you turned out okay." We just don't know how much is safe so it is best to avoid it. Orajel is not recommended because it is swallowed and in the process it numbs the back of the throat which becomes a problem if there is a lot of drool. It becomes hard to swallow that drool and may make baby gag. As difficult as it seems now, remember that this too shall pass and I promise, if you do not remember your teeth coming in, neither will your baby.

"Friends" Who Won't Discipline Chapter One

Q ~ Susan in Dallas asks: A friend of mine and I have our two year olds in the same gym class. Her son is very aggressive and has pushed my son down several times. I've made comments out loud like "watch out," and "be careful," but she has not once done anything to correct her son's behavior. I'm not one for public confrontations, and I'm pretty sure that if I say something to her she would throw a fit and say "boys will be boys." How can I handle this situation to both protect my son and keep my friendship intact?

Barb ~ I can empathize with you Susan, and I think many other parents can as well. I was in the same situation, and because I did nothing, my son eventually developed a case of major anxiety whenever he knew he was seeing the aggressive child. By doing nothing, I sent the message that he had to take it; there was nothing he could do to prevent it and there would not be any consequences. Consider what message your inaction is sending to your son, and don't waste any more time. He is only two and right now he trusts you to make sure he does not get hurt and to teach him how to handle situations. If he were older, wouldn't you expect him to say "Hey, that's not right, if you don't stop being rough I won't play with you anymore?" How would you expect him to handle it if he could? You have to show him how you would want him to handle the situation. If you want to avoid a confrontation, talk to the gym teacher or owner and ask them to address the aggressive behavior without bringing you into it. But if that does not resolve the problem, then put your son ahead of your friendship. Be direct and let her know that you do not expect her to change her parenting and you hope the situation does not affect your friendship, but she cannot expect you to stay in a situation that makes you and your son uncomfortable. Don't be afraid of confrontation, grow a pair and show your son that if you can do it, he can too. (I mean that in an encouraging, Mel Gibson sporting blue war paint and wielding a big sword Braveheart kind of way). Good Luck and I hope you update all of us on how it turns out!

Money-Saving Tips

Q ~ Stephanie in Fort Worth asks: I became a stay at home mom after having our second child and we are struggling without my income. Do you have some tips on how I can save money?

Barb ~ First take inventory around your home and identify the things that you can live without, and the things that you can reduce spending on. Get the family on board. To do this you first have to differentiate between Wants and Needs. I know you really may need caffeine but a $7 designer latte is definitely a want. To reduce your spending you need to shop around. Shop around for better insurance rates and utilities. While on the topic of utilities; having 927 cable channels is a bit overindulgent. And you really do not need all the extras on your phone line like call forwarding or caller id. Identify ways to reduce your energy bills. For example, turn off the lights when not in the room, use compact fluorescent bulbs, adjust the temperature before leaving the house or going to bed, unplug appliances and electronics not in use, plant shade trees if possible. Save on groceries by comparison shopping. Some store brands are of the same quality as national brands but are a fraction of the price, even when you have a coupon for the national brands. Compare labels and quantities. Did you know that bleach is bleach? All brands of bleach have the same ingredient yet some national brands are double the price of store brands. Shop efficiently by planning a week's worth of meals with common ingredients to reduce waste. Make your own baby food. Make justifying your purchases a habit. By keeping a spreadsheet of where your money goes you will be able to recognize areas where you can start saving. You can save on gas too. Group your errands and plan an efficient route, don't top off your tank (it really just goes to waste), park in the shade (a hot car evaporates gas). Good luck and make sure to share your creative tips!

Product Review: Video & Digital Monitor

Q ~ Cathleen in Plano asks: Do you have a recommendation for a good video AND audio baby monitor? I can't seem to find one that is actually good video and also the audio works well with it. Thanks!

Barb ~ There's a reason you are having such a hard time finding a good video and audio monitor, and you are not alone. These products are criticized more than Britney's parenting skills. Many baby monitors are hit-and-miss and reviewers either love 'em or hate 'em. Consumer Reports refused to recommend any video baby monitors because their performance was so erratic. Depending on the monitor's frequency and the other appliances, electronics, and even fluorescent lights in and around your home, you may encounter interference or static with the same monitor that works perfectly in another home. Experts say there's really no way to tell unless you actually try a baby monitor in your house, so check the return policy of your store and save your packaging and receipt. By the way, while you are trying out the monitors, also make a call on the cordless phone, and make sure you can access the internet over your wireless network. In my opinion, a re-chargeable unit is a must, and it needs to be portable so I can walk around with it. A belt clip is great to keep your hands free. Not knowing what extra features you are looking for, I recommend you try these: The Summer Infant Hand Held video monitors (these receive the least amount of complaints and criticisms) and the Graco imonitor TM (the newest version boasts a great range, and it has a lot of neat features including a camera that swivels and a receiver that flips closed to protect the screen). Good luck, and please send me an update when you find a video monitor that works for you!

Don't Waste Your Money

Q ~ Ricky in Frisco asks: Of all the baby products out there, what do you think is the biggest waste of money?

Barb ~ Good question Ricky! I am often seen in various stores shaking my head in overstated irritation at incredibly brainless inventions - many of which I purchased after being led to believe that they were a must for good parenting. The number one wasteful product I somehow came to believe I could not live without: The Pacifier Rinser. Ever drop your pacifier miles from the nearest sink? These are marketed as a solution to this predicament, a portable pacifier rinsing "system." You just fill it with water and a few drops of mouthwash before you leave the house, and store it in your diaper bag. When your child's pacifier hits the floor, no need to panic, just spray the pacifier clean. Here is why this makes #1 on my list of biggest money-wasters: Would it be just too easy to pack an extra pacifier? When you consider the size of this thing, you could actually pack two extra pacifiers, and for the price, you could buy another 2 pacifiers. I have yet to conduct a scientific study, but I can assume a minty mist does not have the cleaning effect of a steady stream of water. Also, I am pretty sure that, in my most sleep-deprived state, I can retrieve with one hand a back-up pacifier from my bag in less time, with less effort, and with no incidence of finger-cramping.